Dinolance

By Rohan Tolstrup

By popular demand (actually my monolithic ego) here's a repost! As I wrote this back in '98, I figured I should explain it a little.

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A little known fact is that in the last fevered moments in the bunker behind Lorraine's Bar & Grill one last mad scheme was hatched. No, it wasn't to secretly take over R. Talsorian or hide in Argentina.... Of course, when WotC's tanks rolled into the ruins, they quickly grabbed the secret plan and it's been locked in Peter Adkison's vault since. I lied, cheated, stole, and set the guard up for a date with my ugly aunt (who I told him was actually Sarah Jane Smith), and eventually I discovered this fell secret.... the DinoLance modules, never released, except at last T$RCON, which is about the same, here's what I could glean of it...
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I am of course referring to TSR's death throes, every roleplayer's friend Lorraine Williams, and the Gencon where several companies just didn't turn up due to TSR turning nasty on them.

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Dinos of Despair - afdl regulars preview Eve of the Maelstrom
Dinos of Flame - my personal quest to purge alt.fan.dragonlance of a plague of newbies
Dinos of Hope - the topic of a Dragonlance movie comes up.... again
Dinos of Desolation - WotC burns to the ground, I was in Australia at the time
Dinos of Mystery - the joke about Soth and the potted plant is extracted at gunpoint
Dinos of Ice - Morten's secret life as a drug kingpin
Dinos of Light - Cassii changes her mind
Dinos of War - somebody asks 'which is better - SAGA or AD&D?'
Dinos of Deceit - life and times of Stig Erik Sandoe (out of print)
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okay, this one is obscure. He was the genius who kept a two year flamewar over Raistlin's gender going

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Dinos of Dreams - Aramon and his (deleted) gem dragons
Dinos of Glory - consumed with how shit-hot they are, the assembled male dinos (we were going to invite Cassii and Janet, but we started roleplaying and forgot :) jack off over a pit of untreated effluvium, spontaneously creating the evil god !@#$%^&
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if you were there, you know

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Dinos of Faith - the FAQ makes Styx post about Crysania's anus
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do a Deja search using 'the FAQ made me' and anus as keywords

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Dinos of Truth - we see a side of Larris we'd rather not when he gets tied up in a strangely Freudian golden lasso
Dinos of Triumph - obscured by spattered brain matter

Rohan Tolstrup, Aussiesaurus Selfdestructivus
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says it all, doesn't it? Wait till we get to Dragons of a Reddened Bum.

"Dinolance" © Rohan Tolstrup