AFDL Dinos to Work for TSR

By Morten Brattbakk

Did some spying at TSR recently, and it seems that several regulars here are going to write for TSR! Congratulations to Rohan Tolstrup who have signed a deal for writing 7 novels. Here's what I could dig up on the books:

Dragonlance Chronicles - Down Under

by Rohan Tolstrup.

(One warning. None of Rohan's novels are not split up into chapters or even paragraphs. Just 400 pages of constant text.)

1. Baatezu of Autumn Twilight

Takhisis becomes furios when learns that her homeplane has been altered, suddenly it's called "Baator" and she finds it infested with some strange creatures, Baatezy, which she has never seen before. Enraged, she enslaves the Baatezu and use them in an army to conquer Krynn. But a handful of heroes set out to stop her..

2. Spelljammers of Winter Night

Hearing the call from the good races of Krynn, help arrive in Spelljammer ships. Drizzt, Mordenkainen and a some godly energy from Birthright surprises Takhisis's Baatezu armies and turn the tide of battle. Sturm Brightblade (who, believe it or not, is native to Krynn) dies a death so noble it redefines the meaning of heroic sacrifice.

3. Dragons of Spring Yawning

Takhisis is defeated singlehandedly by Drizzt. He and his guys have to leave Krynn, as there are other gods to kill in other worlds, but they leave behind remains a lot of elements of other worlds which the author feels belong in Krynn.

4. Dragons of Bummer Shame

30 years after the events in "Dragons of Spring Yawning", Rohan Tolstrup returns in this longawaited 4th volume of his classic "Chronicles - Down Under" series. Takhisis tries to conquer Ansalon again, sending her 272 million Knights of Takhisis to invade the continent. Surprisingly, the Graygem of Gargath is cracked open, and Chaos comes forth. He threatens to destroy the world if the gods do not come with him to Planescape to interact with the gods of other TSR worlds. The gods follow, and take their godly powers with them, but leave some goodbye gifts for the people of Krynn: Moonly magic, the Order of High Sorcery and the AD&D system.

Apparently, Rohan's novels are expected to be so popular he has signed a deal for another three books set in the new age.

Dragonlance: Shit Age

1. The Moaning of a New Aussie

A handful of wimpy heroes set out on a mission to kill all dragon overlords. They are clumsy, and face enormous resistance, dragons the size of Empire State Building, for example, but still none of them is even close to getting killed.

2. The Day of the Slayfest

I haven't found the plot synopsis to this one, but I found a copy of the foreword where Rohan writes (with no spoiler warning):

"Damn those guys at T$R. I had to kill off Goldmoon in the surprise ending of the book, and the way they wanted me to kill her off! I got a compromise from those capitalist bastards, I wouldn't let Goldmoon die wothout a fight, her death being pointless. So I had her fight and slay Khellendros, Gellidus, Beryllinthranox and Onasyblet before going down herself. I meant to have her kill Malystryx as well, but damn again, T$R wouldn't let me do that. But Gilthanas and Silavara appear in the novel and there you will find out that..." (it goes on and on and on.)

3. The Eve of the Tolstrom

Malystryx, who are now very powerful, having absorbed the energy of all the other dead dragon overlords, are killed when Rig throws a knife at her. Her death releases a lot of energy, which is absorbed by several inhabitants of Ansalon, living and dead. Those individuals, who include Raistlin, Steel, Tanis, Tasslehoff, Goldmoon, Riverwind, Flint, Caramon, Tika, Palin, Huma, Kaz and every other popular Dragonlance character (as well as Drizzt) become almighty gods as a result.

Well, that is all books Rohan have written. But I found that our friend Aramon has gotten an editing job:

Dragons of Gems - an anthology by Aramon (Ed.)

Back cover:

"Dragons of Gems" is an exciting new anthology consisting of stories which tells of the lost races of Krynn. Discover the neutral Gem Dragon, the orc, the lycanthrope and the psionic in these wonderful tales, which tells of the wondrous place unlike any other: Krynn.

Included are:

40 short stories from various alt.fan.dragonlance members which (each in their own way, of course) answer the question: Was Raistlin ever truly evil?

"Working Girl" by Stig Erik Sandø tells about <snip, you know what.>

"Elf of the Black Robe" by Cassandra. Dalamar, as well as any other cool evil character native to Krynn, are transported to Ravenloft never to return because of their evil nature. There is a showdown which will at last answer the question "Who would win a duel between Dalamar and Lord Soth?", and the long-awaited reunion of Dalamar and Kitiara, where the greatest mystery of the Dragonlance Saga, which readers have wondered about for 15 years, will be answered: Do elves have pubic hair?

Steve Miller has contributed "Birth of a Nation" which tells of the origins of the gully dwarf race. Steve seems to be compromising on the controversial issue here; his story details a bed triangle between a female dwarf, a male human and a male gnome.

Me and Kinthalas were asked to contribute a short story each, but boycotted the anthology as we felt it went against the spirit of Dragonlance.

It was intended for Styx to have a short story in this collection as well, but after inappropriate words were edited out, his story filled less than half a page. It was therefore rejected.

Well, that's all I could dig up for now.

"AFDL Dinos to Work for TSR" © Morten Brattbakk