Raistlin's Winter Top Ten

By Kevin James Kage, Kyr and Beth Long

Top ten things Raistlin likes to do on snowy winter days.

10. Cast fire ball and melt Sturm's Snow Fort.
9. Torture Dalamar with cold hands
8. Make Caramon go looking for rose petals.
7. Make snow mage impressions.
6. Build a snow Kender, and cast fireball.
5. Whoosh Tasslehoff into a frozen duckpond.
4. Whoosh Tasslehoff into a frozen duckpond upside-down.
3. Have the Ultimate snowball fight with the Queen of Darkness.
2. Sit inside and have a nice hot cup of herbal brew with marshmallows in it.
1. Sing Winter songs like

Raistlin the Red Robed Wizard

Raistlin the Red Robed Wizard
Had a very shiny face.
And if you ever saw him,
you would want to leave the place!

His Test at the Tower
Made him cough and hack up blood
But because of his power.
He now conjures Vick's Vaporub.

Then during the Chronicles
Fizban came to say
"Raistlin with your robes so Red,
Don't turn to Black, be my sword instead!"

But now he's wearing black robes,
And with all the spells he's hurled,
Raistlin the (Black) Robed Wizard,
Will go out and rule the world!

O Tasslehoff

O Tasslehoff! O Tasslehoff!
Why do you so annoy me?
O Tasslehoff! O Tasslehoff!
Why do you so annoy me?
You steal from me!
And cause me dread.
A thousand curses
On your head!!!
O Tasslehoff! O Tasslehoff!
Why do you so annoy me?

I'm Dreaming of a White Cleric

I'm dreaming of a White Cleric
Just like someone I used to know
She had long dark hair,
And skin quite fair,
And robes the color of the snow.
I'm dreaming of a White Cleric
In every second, I delight.
If you step in Paladine's Light
Then may all your Cleric's Robes be White.

A Death Mass Song

Kender roasting on an open Fire,
Hell hounds nipping at your Gnomes,
Black Robed Wizard impaled on a spire,
His Death Curse sealing off my home.
Everbody knows Takhisis and her minion horde.
Plan to kill Solamnic Knights.
Tiny Dwarves stuck with Kender who're bored
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know a mountain's coming down
To kill a Kingpriest and to make all Istar drown.
A cataclysm is no treat.
Except for Kender who think it's really neat.

And so I'm offering some sound advice,
For elves from 6 to 902.
Don't kill yourselves: it is not very nice!
There's others to do it for you.

Violent Knight
(by Kyr)

Violent knight, unholy knight,
No-one's calm, all take fright
Round yon spectre with glowing red eyes,
He points his finger and somebody dies,
Lord Soth of Dargaard Keep,
Lord Soth of Dargaard Keep.

Creepy knight, horrible knight,
Kender quake at the sight,
Banshees scream in his castle afar,
Too bad he couldn't keep Kitiara,
Couldn't get a life if he tried,
Couldn't get a life if he tried.

Loathsome knight, spooky knight,
A weird pot-plant that hates the light,
Red eyes glow in his bucket head,
He isn't alive and he isn't dead.
No sleep, no heavenly peace,
No sleep, no heavenly peace.

Past Fizban's Time
(by Beth Long)

Should gold dead mages be forgot
And never brought to mind
Should gold dead mages be forgot
In the days past Fizban's time.

The days past Fizban's time, my friend,
The days past Fizban's time.
We'll now all stuck in the 5th age
In the days past Fizban's time.....

"Raistlin's Winter Top Ten" © Kevin James Kage, Kyr and Beth Long