Gold Medal for Most 20s Rolled
Hello again friends. As you can see, I speak to you this week not from the friendly confines of the Inn of the Next to Last Home, but from the DLU offices. We are all busy, preparing for Gen Con, and trying to get all you faithful readers something to pass the time until Milwaukee. I had hoped that by some chance, this convention might be held in Las Vegas this year, but Niltsiar nixed my expense requests for dancing girls and a stack of casino chips anyway, so Milwaukee will have to do. I hope, Dear Reader, that this update of DLU gives you some useful information to help make your Gen Con experience a pleasant one… I do not really hope that at all, but the marketing department feels I should make my image more "cuddly". Bloody wankers.
Anyway, back to business. The purpose of my spiel, friends, is to set your mind proper for the Gen Con experience. To "pump you up", if you will. Its takes a strong will and great fortitude to survive four days amidst the great unwashed masses of geek. You will need to be strong, of body and of mind. Do not dwell on the long lines, the expensive food, the smell, and the fact that you cannot get into all the cool parties. Focus yourself, Dear Reader. You have but one goal, to shed reality and let your inner geek run free.
August 2-5 is the geek’s World Series, our Stanley Cup, our Super Bowl. While the competitive organization of role-playing may not be as structured as The C.P.L (Cyberathlete Professional League), competitive geeking will occur at Gen Con. It’s not even just for the thrill of the kill anymore, as the RPGA Network begins their North American Role Playing Championships at Gen Con. Also, know that there will be more card game tournaments than you can shake a kender at. Whatever your pleasure, you will have the chance to be competitive. You must embrace this feeling. Feed off the atmosphere. You are a geeking machine. You are an RPG animal. The venders will sell you dice with a reverent bow. The Trekkies will clear out when you walk past. Billy Dee Williams will ask for your autograph. You are Geek; let them hear you roar.
I hope my inspirational words have prepared you. I hope that, when the time comes, you think about your old friend Raisted, draw strength from my words, and roll that Critical Hit. So get out there, lads and lasses. Get out there and do DLU proud. Do me proud. Polish those dice. Sharpen those pencils. Memorize the rules until you dream in d20. Heed my words, and you shall succeed.
...and if you fail… Hey, you're in Milwaukee, go drinking. The town smells like beer for a reason.
Take care, dear readers. I will see you in Wisconsin. Good luck.
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