So Easy to Use, No Wonder It's #1
newbie -- A network newcomer, one who is new to the world of online communications. Sometimes used incorrectly as a pejorative term, as in "clueless newbie." —definition borrowed from Netdictionary
Kill stupid newbies.
On the mailing list or newsgroup, you know which ones they are. "Where can I find Dragonlance art? Where can I find Dragonlance music?" They'd be the ones looking at this site and going: "What the hell is this?
"Where are the real Dragonlance pixxx??? Where are the netbooks, the links to other sites, the cool Raistlin pictures?? Is there a Dragonlance timeline, a list of ALL Dragonlance books available, authors' email addresses?? And is there going to be a Dragonlance movie???"
Honestly, does alt.fan.dragonlance look anything like the Yahoo! search engine?
So here's the truth, spoken in all Dragonlance Underground honesty: Having people asking the same questions that have been asked thousands of times before in the same place is an annoyance to the established community. (It might not be the happiest and most normal community in the world, but that's what it is.) The Internet has been around for 10 years, while Dragonlance has had its dedicated fans for more than 15 years now.
A lot has happened in that time that newbies probably have no clue about. A crapload of Dragonlance stuff has been put on the Net in all those years. To be fair, the ones who came early (ie. before/around 1995) to the newsgroup and mailing list could make their own rules and run helter-skelter over uncharted territory, coming up with questions, websites, discussion topics, and creative fan works that were all new in their time. And that they knew were new. But therein lies the rub—to have "street smarts" in the community, now and then, it was and is a requisite to know what is already out there. And by this time, almost all of it already is.
The good news is, newcomers don't have to reinvent the wheel. The good news is, all the answers and everything one is looking for (and more) already exists. The bad news is—the newbies have got to know how to find this stuff.
So the difference between the inoffensive newbies and the stupid newbies is this: The stupid newbies don't realize that they can find the answers on their own. And they probably have no idea what Netiquette or a FAQ is either.
Too bad AOL doesn't bother to send their customers manuals on how the Internet really works. "Netiquette" has become just a funny word. (Most people don't have a clue that there are ancient FAQs defining Netiquette. And the rules are real, helpful and practical. Ignoring them just makes one look like an ass.) On another note, if a newbie has no idea what a FAQ or search engine is, they should pull the plug on their computer right now and give it to someone with double-digit IQ. Newsgroups and mailing lists do not exist to spoonfeed lazy newbies with no initiative, coming with embarrassingly basic questions about Dragonlance, websites, or even (and this happens often enough) Internet and email questions.
The next time a stupid newbie on a.f.dl asks a really dumb question, I say: don't even answer. Give a man a fish, and you know he's just going to come around tomorrow asking for another fish. If it is a wise newbie, they'll learn about search engines and think about using them. They might even find their answer in the FAQ and realize their gaffe. If they repeat their query publicly (sometimes in caps even), refer them to a search engine, The Internet FAQ Consortium or a usenet archive, and leave it there. Hell, recommend them The Internet for Dummies or this page.
So maybe stupid newbies don't really have to die. They just need to learn to take initiative and read some Internet manuals now and then, so the other Internet users don't feel the need to kill them.
Until they become trolls.
That's for another editorial.
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