Popular Krynnish Games
It would be wrong to suggest that the following games are played on Krynn only at Yule, but that has been the traditional season for such things for many a year. Yuletide is a precious and magical time when families come together and a jolly atmosphere of fun and frolics is found as the war-weary peoples of Ansalon celebrate both the winter solstice and the thirteen day build-up to the joyous anniversary of being somewhat forcibly “saved” by the Gods in 0 AC.
Cataclysm or Brother Shall Turn Against Brother
Requires: 2 players
This merry game is an especial favourite of siblings everywhere. The elder of the two players asks the younger to stand perfectly still and then hits them in the face as hard as possible. The younger is then permitted to run off crying whilst the elder shouts after them such cruel jibes as “You had to be prepared for the darkness to come” and “Come back, you've dropped a precious gem in the woods”.
Any attempt to play the game a second time invariably results in the Father of All intervening.
Keep Your Eye On The Ball
Requires: 21 players, a large ball
This game is primarily played amongst the Kender, although, as with most of their pursuits, children and congenital idiots are equally capable of enjoying it. The players stand in a large circle facing the ball which is placed in the centre. They then chat amongst themselves until someone finally notices that both the ball and one of the players are missing whereupon that player must shout “Sissytakki Planetpincher!” which is the signal for the group to go and search for them.
What happens when the player with the ball is caught is unknown as no Kender has ever continued looking for more than 43 minutes let alone the suggested game duration of 43 years.
Night Of Doom
Requires: 1+ players all wearing Cleric's robes
Similar to Hide And Go Seek except that the players must each secrete themselves in a good hiding place but no-one has to bother finding them.
Sothistry ™
Requires: 2 teams of 1+ players, Sothistry ™ game (out of print)
Rarely played these days, Sothistry ™ was an exciting game of half-truths, self-deception and fallacious reasoning where each team had to argue that Lord Soth “must” be in Ravenloft or “must” be still on Krynn, using the conflicting materials provided. For advanced players there were additional rules for a third team who had to mediate by contorting both team’s versions of events in such a way that they appeared to concur unless subjected to any form of scrutiny. It was not unheard of for these conclusions to be published in the form of a novel.
Hoof It! or Moo And Run
Requires: 2 players (1 Kender, 1 Minotaur)
It involves a Kender and a Minotaur, I think you can work it out!
The Three Magi
Requires: 2+ players, 1 or more disreputable taverns, drinks as described below
The idea of this game is to get roaring drunk and at the same time give thanks to Wizards everywhere for all those marvellous magical creations that make living in a fantasy world so much more civilised, Continual Streetlights, Thrones of Waste Gating, the Dispel Illusion spell, etc.
Obviously the best way to achieve this is to propose a toast to each of the Heads of the three Orders of High Sorcery in turn. A player raises his beverage in the air, says a (very) few words on the subject and everyone downs their drink. A jug of milk is drunk to the White Robes, followed quickly by a bottle of wine for the Red Robes and finally a tankard-full of Dwarf spirits to honour the Black. The game then moves on to the next seedy dive where the process is repeated. Anyone who hasn’t choked to death on their own vomit come morning is considered a winner (or a Dwarf).
Who'd Be The President If They Made A Play of RealLife?
Requires: 2+ players, a superficial knowledge of the bestselling “RealLife” books*
This is one of Krynn’s more enduring, though not endearing, games. The players must gather together and discuss who they would consider perfect for the various roles in the “RealLife” books, in the theoretical and highly unlikely event of a play being put on. Each must very quickly say the first thing that comes into their head then the person on their left must do the same and so forth. The game ends with rising entropy causing the eventual heat-death of the Universe or when a play is actually made, whichever comes sooner.
Sample inanities:
“It has to be Tanis. He’d make a great Clinton, he’s a natural leader plus we know he can do all that other stuff too!”
“There’s more to RealLife than the Second Millenium you know, I think Mina should play Bush.”
“That’s stupid, she’s a girl! It HAS to be Sturm.”
“Yeah, but which one? I’d go for Brightblade every time. That moustache!”
“Princess Diana was hot, why did they have to kill her off? They should bring her back so Laurana can play her.”
“How can she be hot? She’s not real, you doorknob. Anyway, Palin would be a much better choice for Diana.”
“If we’re talking the Majeres, I still reckon Caramon would make a great Governor of California!”
“Oh my Gods, I really fancy Raistlin plus he’s a really good actor too! They should write a part specially for him.”
“Hey guys, who do you reckon should be the Pope? Elistan or the Kingpriest?”
* The fantasy novel series where technology really works and the Heroes must seek out knowledge of the true God(s) whilst also scouring the world for fabled weapons of immense power, set on a planet seemingly constantly at war.
What Does This Look Like To You?
Requires: 2+ players (Minotaur only)
The players take it in turns to extend their legs to each other, whilst uttering the eponymous phrase “What Does This Look Like To You?” The players must then peer at the part below the ankle and attempt to figure out whether it is a foot or a hoof. This game is actually much more difficult than it sounds.
Pin The Blame On The Donkey
Requires: 1 player, an ass, mule or lummox of some sort, a busy marketplace
Inspired by the loveable antics of the Kender, this game has spread all across Ansalon. The player walks through the marketplace stealing anything that catches his eye, but hiding it in his donkey’s pack. This way if the pair are searched the player will appear completely innocent although their companion may well be taken from them. It is traditional to affect a certain disappointment at this turn of events “Oh Dobbin, how could you?” or “Bad Caramon!” usually do the trick.
GullyBall
Requires: 2 teams of 11 players each (Ogres or Minotaurs), a ready supply of Aghar
Before play begins, a pack of Gully Dwarves are politely asked whether they would like to play a game. The “volunteers” each take it in turn to become the GullyBall and get mercilessly booted around the field of play. Whenever an Aghar expires the player who dealt the death blow is considered to have scored a “Gull” for his team and a new ball is pressed into service. The team with the most Gulls at the end of the match are declared the winners.
This game has its roots in the touching tale of troops on the Ogre/Minotaur front during one of the many interminable wars on Krynn who grew sick of fighting each other and joined together in the spirit of peace and goodwill on the morning of Yule to kick the stuffing out of an Aghar they found scavenging on the battlefield.
What Has It Got In Its Stockingses?
Requires: 2+ players, a full stocking for each
Only played on the morning of Yule, this game requires the players to gather round and begin unwrapping the gifts of comparable thoughtfulness and value they each find in their stocking. Becoming rapidly discontent at the perceived superiority of each other’s presents the players then fall out, often coming to blows as they attempt to see, steal, swap or smash their rival’s gifts. When played to the death, this game is known as Raistlin’s Test.
It should also be noted that the Adult version of What Has It Got In Its Stockingses? differs quite significantly from what is described above.
Blind Cleric’s Bluff
Requires: 2 players (one in Black Robes, one in White), a d20, a d3
The Black-Robed Mage tells the Cleric a series of lies such as “I’m not evil, I just have difficulty finding Red Robes in my size”, “Cor! If you weren’t the religious type and my mind wasn’t on higher things I’d play the Tower And Portal game with you right now” or “Of course I won’t leave you to die in the Abyss, Snookums”. For each fabrication the Mage must roll a Bluff check (3 or higher on a d20 after modifiers). The Cleric is permitted a Sense Motive check to spot the fact they are being lied to (20 or higher on a d3 after modifiers).
Although more usually played by a man and a woman, it is not unheard of for Blind Cleric’s Bluff to be played by two men.
Follow That Star! or Divine Intervention
Requires: 1 God (not the One God), a number of low-level schmucks
The schmucks (or “Heroes” as they may choose to style themselves) look into the sky and observe that a certain God’s constellation is missing. They then get led round by the nose by that God until “their” adventure is over. This game should not be confused with the very similar My Worst Ever Roleplaying Experience.
Malys In Kenderland
Requires: Any number of players (1 Spellcaster, as many Kender as are in range)
Everyone wants to kill a Kender at some point in their lives but it’s rare for anyone to be lucky enough to have the chance to finish off a whole settlement, unless, of course, they’ve dedicated their lives to the pursuit of the magic necessary to make their dream possible.
Kender have had to put up with this kind of thing for years so when another newly-Tested Red Robe strolls into town with armfuls of scrolls and a Wand of Fireballs they tend to treat it as a great game. Some will just run around screaming gleefully, whilst others may try and attract the attacker’s attention by waving, taunting or jumping out at them. A few might try to put out the flames with hilariously small buckets of water, although many simply nip into their houses on the off chance that a stray Fireball might knock it down on top of them “a bit like what happened to Uncle Tas in Tarsis”.
The sadly numerous survivors of the Malys In Kenderland game like to imagine themselves scarred by their experiences, plastering their faces with white make-up, dressing all in black and writing bad poetry about death and destruction amongst the beautiful people.
Charade or Farce
Requires: 2+ players, numerous other expensive items detailed below
The player whose idea it was to play is given the arcane designation “DM” and must then proceed to purchase the Dungeon Master Guide, the Monster Manual, the DragonLance Campaign Setting, the Age of Mortals and the DM screen containing those materials accidentally left out of the DLCS. If the DM is lucky he may be able to request some, but not all, of these items as a present at Yule or even on his Day of Life’s Gift (a.k.a. Smeerpsday)
The other players or “PCs” must then each purchase his or her own copy of the Players Handbook and a handful of spiky dice. The DM might as well pick up both of those too. Whilst correcting the numerous errors in his various volumes via a combination of post-it notes and lists of errata downloaded from the internet the DM will also find himself sending the players who mistakenly bought the latest version of the PHB back to the shops because “I don’t care if my DMG is out of date, I'm not buying another single thing!”
He will then purchase the Key of Destiny adventure upon finding that he is unable to design a remotely credible or interesting campaign, having neither the materials on the Towers of High Sorcery essential to gaming with a number of black-robed wannabes nor the sourcebook on the War of the Lance period which is all that his PCs, whom he recently introduced to DL by lending out the Holy Six, are actually interested in.
The group may then begin to play a game based almost entirely on the exercise of their own imaginations for which a viable method of charging has yet to be devised, although plans proceed apace.
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