Yuletide Recipes 2003
(as assembled by Gorta Gristlecut, The Holey Cauldron Inn)

By Raistlicious and Lady Raist

Note: Gorta Gristlecut, an elderly kender who gives her age as a not quite believable 99 years old, resides in Solanthas where she is occupied as the head cook of the large and esteemed Holey Cauldron Inn, now owned by Master Ivor Stripeseat, who says that he has never -- well, seldom -- regretted his father's decision to hire Gorta as a cook nearly fifty years ago when she retired from wandering. As Ivor himself puts it, "Gorta can out-cook an army of gully dwarves with one hand tied behind her back...and still go home with half my spoons in her apron." Gorta is in the process of writing a cookbook, from which these selections are taken, along with Mistress Gristlecut's unique commentary.

Pineapple Glazed Pork Loin

"This is one of my most popular dishes, especially among big and meaty warriors who won't take 'porridge' for an answer. Occasionally one of them will scoff at having fruit with meat, but they always end up asking for thirds and fourths."

Ingredients

• 1 1/4 to 1 1/2 pounds pork loin
• 1 can pineapple rings, reserve juice
• 1 tsp dry mustard
• 1/2 tsp ground ginger
• 1/2 tsp ground paprika
• 1 tbsp brown sugar
• 1 tbsp lemon juice, optional
• 2 tsp cornstarch
• pineapple rings, for garnish
• green pepper rings, for garnish

• You may use pork tenderloin in place of pork loin. Pork tenderloin is the long, very tender piece of meat from the underside of pork loin. It is small, weighing about 3/4 pound. Cooking time will be less, around 40 minutes.
• Good served with string beans or broccoli and glazed carrots.

1. Trim excess fat from pork loin.
2. Place loin on a rack in a baking pan.
3. Make glaze: Drain pineapple. Reserve about 1/2 cup of the juice.
4. In a small saucepan, mix 1/3 cup juice, the mustard, ginger, paprika, brown sugar, and lemon juice, if used, and the cornstarch. Bring to a boil, stirring. Set aside.
5. Bake, uncovered, at 350°F for about 1 hour and 15 minutes until meat is tender and inner temperature has reached 160°F. Brush with glaze several times during baking time. Turn pork loin once during baking and brush underside with glaze.
6. Let pork loin stand for five minutes.
7. Sliec meat across grain into slices. Arrange pineapple and pepper rings around meat to serve.

"Mach" Turkey

"We acquired this recipe from the gnomes. One of the few successful attempts by the Food Distribution Administration (FDA) Guild, this fake turkey dish has been known to nearly rocket out of the stove, hence the dual meaning of it's name "Mach". Elves order this one from us a lot because they don't like to eat animals, though some of them get their breechclouts in a wad over the spices, which they say cause offensive breath. But I just tell them, look, if everyone in your party has some of this, you'll all have the same breath and won't offend each other."

Ingredients

• 2 packs Extra Firm Tofu
• Olive Oil
• 3 tbsp Chicken Bouillon Powder
• 3 cups boiling water
• 1/2 tbsp Pickling Spices
• 1/2 tsp dried Rosemary
• 1/2 tsp dried Thyme
• 1/2 tsp dried Marjoram
• 1/2 tsp dried Sage
• 1/2 tsp ground Black Pepper
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 3 tbsp Vegetable Oil

1. Drain tofu of all water and press tofu blocks firmly with cheese cloth or paper towel to remove excess water.
2. Cut each block into desired shape:
   • Tofu Triangles - Turn block on side and cut into 4 1/4's. You can cut into 1/8's for thinner crispier texture. Turn back up face and cut across each diagonal to make 4 triangles.
   • Tofu Strips -Turn block on side and cut into 4 1/4's. You can cut into 1/8's for thinner crispier texture or halves for thicker chunkier texture. Turn back up face and cut in half one way and 1/4's the other way to get strips.
   • Tofu Slabs - Turn block on side and cut into 4 1/4's. You can cut into 1/8's for thinner crispier texture or halves for thicker chunkier texture. Then face up cut in half on the short horizontal to make squares.
3. The best preparation is to deep fry in olive or vegetable oil for a chewy meaty texture. For a low fat option bake for 45 minutes on one side and 15 minutes on the other at 350 degrees F. Add to marinade.
4. Dissolve vegetarian chicken -flavored powder in boiling water. Add pickling spices , rosemary , thyme , sage , marjoram , pepper , garlic and oil. Add tofu to marinade and let sit in fridge for the following amount of time:
   • Tofu Triangles - 35 minutes Tofu Strips - 45 minutes Tofu Slabs - 1 hour
5. If you have cut your tofu to the chunky option you will need to add another 30 minutes to the above times. Experiment with to get the flavor to your own taste.
6. Drain tofu from marinade and let sit for a moment to drain dry. You can use the marinade again for a smaller amount of tofu or as a soup base or to flavor gravy . Then Bake Tofu at 35 degrees F for 25 minutes or our favorite option, lightly fry in pan using butter . (You can also use olive oil or your favorite spray).

Tarsian Yule Fruit Loaf

"The people in Tarsis like to drink a lot of mulled wine and strong cider while eating this (known as julekaka in their dialect) because it's really cold down there during Yule, and goodness, are they sloppy with their possessions. People should be more careful if they don't want their purses, jewelry, books, shoes and kittens to just lie around where anybody can take them. I blame the drinking."

Ingredients

• 1/4 cup granulated sugar
• 1/4 cup warm water
• 1 tbsp active dry yeast
• 3/4 cup milk
• 1/4 cup butter, melted
• 2 eggs, beaten
• 1 tsp salt
• 3/4 tsp cardamom
• 1/2 tsp each vanilla and grated lemon rind
• 4 1/4 cups all purpose flour
• 1/3 cup candied citron or mixed candied fruit
• 1/3 cup each golden raisins and slivered almonds
• 1 egg, beaten
• 1 cup icing sugar
• 2 tbsp water
• 1/2 tsp almond extract

1. In large bowl, dissolve 1 tsp of the sugar in warm water. Sprinkle in yeast; let stand for 10 minutes or until frothy.
2. Whisk in remaining sugar, milk, butter, eggs, salt, cardamom, vanilla, and lemon rind. Whisk in 2 cups of the flour. With wooden spoon, stir in enough of the remaining flour, 1/2 cup at a time, to make soft sticky dough.
3. Turn out dough onto lightly floured surface; knead for about 10 minutes or until smooth and elastic, adding enough of the remaining flour as necessary. Knead in candied citron, raisins and almonds.
4. Place in greased bowl, turning to grease all over. Cover with plastic wrap; let rise in warm draft free place for 1 to 1 1/2 hours or until doubled in bulk.
5. Grease 9 x 5" loaf pan.
6. Punch down dough. Turn out onto lightly floured surface; shape into oval and fit into prepared pan. Cover with plastic wrap; let rise in warm draft free place for about 1 hour or until doubled in bulk.
7. Topping: brush top with egg. Bake in centre of 375° oven for 30 to 40 minutes or until golden and loaf sounds hollow when tapped on bottom. Remove from pan; let cool completely on rack.
8. In small bown, stir together icing sugar, water and almond extract; drizzle over loaf.
9. Makes 1 loaf, 12 slices.

Pesto Yule Tree

"Another elven favorite. For people who don't enjoy eating living things, elves sure like to have Yule food that resembles stuff like trees and animals and other elves. I don't understand it at all, but then, I don't make the rules, I just dish up the cream cheese!"

Ingredients

• 8 ounces cream cheese
• 1/3 cup pesto
• cinnamon stick

1. Cut cream cheese in half diagonally. Place triangles together to form Yule tree shape on serving plate.
2. Top with pesto. Insert cinnamon stick at base of triangle for "tree trunk". Serve with crackers.
3. Extra: Use chopped red bell pepper as "ornaments" to decorate tree.

Stained Glass Yule Trees

"These are really popular. I always end up finding some in my pockets when I go home at night, though. I don't know how they end up there when we have to make endless batches for the people asking for them, and sometimes run short."

Ingredients

• 3/4 cup butter, softened
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 1 egg
• 2 tsp vanilla
• 2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• green paste food coloring (optional)
• 1/2 cup each clear red, yellow and orange hard candies

1. In bowl, beat butter with sugar until light and fluffly; beat in egg and vanilla.
2. Stir flour with baking powder. Stir into butter mixture in 2 additions. Tint dough with colouring if desired.
3. Divide dough in half; flatten into discs. Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 1 hour or until chilled.
4. Cut parchment paper to fit baking sheet; place paper on work surface. Place dough on paper; roll out on paper to 1/4" thickness. Using 7.5" Yule tree shaped cookie cutter, cut out shapes; remove scraps. With round mini cutters, cut holes out of trees. Using skewer or straw, cut 1/4" hole at top of each. Place dough and paper on baking sheet.
5. Separating colors, crush candies. Spoon into holes, mounding slightly.
6. Bake in centre of 375°F oven for about 10 minutes or until light golden on bottom and edges. Let cool on pan on rack for 5 minutes. Transfer to rack; let cool completely.

Onion Roasted Potatoes

"The onion mix, sold in markets all over Krynn, is a secret recipe handed down through generations of cooks living in the tiny village of...well, I can't say. No one but the villagers knows the formula...well, except for me. What do you expect when people just leave their secret family recipe books out? They must have known I was interested in reading it and didn't mind me copying down their recipe. Of course, I'd never divulge it myself. I can't tell you what's in the ingredient list that I wrote on page 382 in the back of Ivor's copy of Ye Joy of Cookery now, can I?"

Ingredients

• 1 pouch onion soup mix (Lipton's is best)
• 1/4 cup vegetable oil
• 2 tbsp melted margarine
• 1 tsp each dried basil and oregano
• 1/4 tsp pepper
• 5 medium potatoes, washed, and cut into large chunks, about 1 1/2" pieces

1. In a large bowl, blend soup mix with oil, margarine and herbs. Add potatoes and stir to coat thoroughly.
2. Pour into a shallow baking pan. Bake at 400°F 40 - 45 minutes, stirring several times until potatoes are tender and golden brown.
3. Makes 4 servings.

Creamy Pumpkin Pie

"Last Yule, I left three of these on the windowsill to cool and returned to find them missing, so I knew my nephews were in town, because only they would take my pies to make sure nobody stole them before the dinner hour. I got one and two-thirds of the pies back; they were testing them, you see, to make sure nobody had poisoned them, but Ivor kind of looked at me funny when I told him how brave my dear nephews were to make sure the pies weren't going to be used to murder our guests. His father used to do that, too. After forty-six years of cooking for humans, I still don't understand them."

Ingredients

• 1 can (14 ounces) pumpkin puree
• 2 eggs
• 1 cup packed brown sugar
• 1 cup whipping cream
• 1 tbsp all purpose flour
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1/2 tsp each ground ginger, nutmeg, and salt
• 1/4 tsp ground allspice
• 1 unbaked pie shell
• 1/2 cup whipping cream
• 2 tbsp maple syrup

1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
2. In large bowl, whisk together pumpkin puree, eggs, sugar, whipping cream, flour, cinnamon, vanilla, ginger, nutmeg, salt and allspice.
3. Pour into pastry shell and bake for about 1 hour or until pastry rim is brown and edge of filling is set but centre still jiggles slightly. Let cool completely on rack.
4. Cover and refrigerate for at least 2 hours or until chilled or for up to 24 hours.
5. To make topping, whip cream with maple syrup in a bowl; spoon onto individual servings.

Festive Cranberry Punch

"I had three whole mugs of this once on Yule Eve, and next thing I knew, my stays were off and I was dancing with some dwarves I'd never met in my life. Imagine, a respectable and mature kender like myself -- though the dwarves very kindly helped me home after I fell off the table and into someone's lap. I think I may be getting too old for that kind of thing anymore, but people do foolish things when they're naive and seventy!"

Ingredients

• 3 ounces brandy
• 2 ounces Grand Marnier
• 3 ounces cranberry juice
• 3 ounces orange juice
• 26 ounces sparkling wine or Champagne
• 1/2 cup fresh cranberries
• 6 clementines, peeled and sectioned
• 1 lemon, sliced
• 1 lime, sliced

1. Combine liquids in a large bowl. Add fruit and mix together.
2. Ladle into individual cups with ice.
3. Serves 6.

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