Dragons of a Fallen Sun
Greetings, pathetic little creatures.
I am Malystryx, whom your kind has affectionately termed "The Red Marauder". Today I am here to bless your dreary souls with a review of Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman's latest literary work, the novel called Dragons of a Fallen Sun.
To begin with, I would like to state that I have never exactly been a fan of these authors. They bend the truth in order to give the lower order of weaklings like you a false sense of hope. The hope that one day even the most powerful evil can be slain. I find this stupidity to be almost a form of torture to your kind, as no such hope exists. Now onwards to the literary rubbish.
Of all things, Dragons of a Fallen Sun starts not with a dragon as the title would suggest, but with a company of dull Knights of Neraka being led by an equally dull Minotaur named Galdar. The Knights are traipsing through the blasted valley once known as the city of Neraka and are scared out of their wits, when a storm hits. The storm is a really bad one and is meant to be ominous and foreboding. Only Humans could possibly be afraid of a little rain. The Captain of the troop, a pathetic man whom the authors don't even bother to go into detail on, gets struck by lightning and dies. Suddenly, a figure walks out of the storm. It's a little girl with no hair and big eyes. Yes, the climax here is a little girl with no hair and big eyes. Excited yet? I fell asleep. Anyhow, she blabbers incoherently about a "One God" and heals Galdar the Minotaur's arm, which he had lost a long time ago in battle, and everyone swears to follow her command. That is the first chapter. Yes, that's it. The only time I am even mentioned is in a side statement about me not having a good nights sleep because of the storm. Utter trash.
I won't go into as much detail on the rest of the chapters, but I felt it important to do so on the first one, so as to give you a taste of what the book is like. Now that you have had a taste though, I please ask you to try to keep it down until I finish this review. The story itself revolves around three different events, all occuring at the same time. As such, the authors switch back and forth between them each chapter, a technique that quickly gets agitating, as only one of the plotlines ever has anything to do with a Dragon, and none of them have anything at all to do with me. Apparently the authors were attempting to avoid my wrath. Perhaps you people are a bit smarter than I give you credit for. The next plotline involves Gerard, a Solomnic Knight who is incredibly ugly (by even your standards, which I find not to be incredibly high to begin with) and who is a friend to the so called Hero, Caramon Majere. Gerard guards the tomb of the Heroes and gets suprised by a Kender who comes out of the tomb. The kender is Tasslehoff Burrfoot. No I'm not joking, he's Tasslehoff Burrfoot. He traveled in time to speak at the funeral for Caramon, but had apparently gotten there to early. This is a problem that is rectified almost immediately, because soon after the kender starts talking to Caramon, he keels over dead. I have also felt like doing so after mere seconds of listening to a kender's prattle, so this is not much of a suprise. Gerard then takes Tasslehoff to see Dalamar, but cannot since Dalamar is dead. He decides to settle on Palin and goes and meets with him and Laurana in Qualinesti. Exciting, isn't it? The next plotline is even better! Silvanoshei, the son to Porthios and Alhana is a pathetic wimp. He tries repeatedly during the story to be brave and make himself worthwhile but fails miserably every time. He is sent out on a routine mission to deliver a message, gets turned around the wrong way, gets knocked cold by none other than himself, wakes up inside the Silvanesti shield, and is promptly made king. I refuse to even bother to comment on this any more other than to say that the climactic battle at the end is not only not possible, but ridiculously overly dramatic. It really leaves you feeling hollow with a sense of, "Yes? And?" ringing in your mind. Finally, two thirds through the novel, we get a mini yarn tossed in about Goldmoon who is depressed because she is young again and can see dead people. Wow. Unbelievable. Who cares?
All these plotlines twist and turn during the book with the little girl, Mina, being the obvious center. It centers mostly on the mystery of who this new "God" of Mina's is and hints that perhaps throgh the mystery of time travel, the future veered off course. This I believe. I'm certain in the other future I am a god, although I fail to see much difference between that and this one where I am practically one.
One thing I must give Weis and Hickman credit for is their characterization. They really have an incredible way of making the various characters breathe, and almost seem real. It's almost enough to make me actually care about what happens to them. Almost. Also their characterization of Beryllinthranox is dead on. I have yet to see a story better exemplify her desperation, greed, rage and stupidity. Poor Beryl, I almost pity her.
In conclusion, I believe that this book, although being mostly mindless refuse, thrown together and binded as a book, will more than likely provide you pathetic creatures with some form of brainless entertainment. It will distract you from reality, and I believe, that is exactly what you creatures want. Read the book. Enjoy the book. But just remember... no matter what hope that this novel may give you, when you are finished with it, Malystryx the Red is still here and there is nothing you can do about it.
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