An Interview with Granak Red-Silver
After first agreeing to be this month's interviewee, then spending the next few weeks trying to disappear off the face of Krynn, I have finally tracked down and confronted Granak Red-Silver!
Granak: So, what do you want before I eat you.
Raistlehoff: Like I'm going to be your dinner! You cannot have demi-gods for dinner! So, I know you're like seven feet tall or something, and I'm only 4 and a half, but you don't get to look at me while drooling like that! :)
Granak: Oh? a demi-god are we. not much of a demi-god if it comes asking ME questions while i'm hungry.
Raistlehoff: Alright then, first question! How does it feel to have failed in your attempt to get away from me? You can't get away from a kender, you know.
Granak: First, I've been chasing you. Second, Since were here right now, and i'm hungry, I don't feel all that bad. Third, you wanted to ask me questions, no doubt to wiggle out of those ropes before i light this fire. Amusing. So what other questions do you have?
Raistlehoff: Ooh, try and scare me all you like. I'll just have to pop in on you sometime when you're doing something embarrassing then. Well, let's get the usual out of the way - of course, you have to tell us about yourself.
Granak: There isn't much to tell. I'm large, scaly, with sharp teeth, and I don't talk much. Haven't you ever seen a sivak before?
Raistlehoff: Once, yes. He tried to eat me too. Must be something in the water.
Granak: Hmmmmm. Water. Soup.... ah well. No kettle.
Raistlehoff: You go by the title "Red-Silver". What exactly IS a "red-silver" anyways? Some weird dragon bestiality thing?
Granak: THAT, must be obvious. I'm scaly, but i'm not of pure silver color like the others. You can see, for yourself, the my own skin has a red taint to it. I and several others who hatched from my egg all have the same color. Thus, red-silver.
Raistlehoff: So you're just a bastard trying to pass yourself off as a Sivak? I get it now. :) You could have said as much. :)
Granak: Nono. Sivaks are the largest, and I am as large as they get. 9 ft. I assume it has something to do with my parentage.
Raistlehoff: Next question! Some people out there REALLY want to know - why, I have no idea - do draconians have nipples?
Granak: Well, no. Humans, elves, even ogres, and their spawn have babies and you disgusting creatures ooze substances from your females. Draconians come from eggs, as we have no need for milk. So, no nipples.
Raistlehoff: You made an appearance in the Dragonlance novel Draconian Measures. What did you think of your performance?
Granak: Ahh. Well, I find myself very flattered to be on a such a novel. It was quite a surprise, and i'm uncomfortable with any fame from it. I prefer that My lords, Slith and Kang, as the girls are portrayed realistically.
Raistlehoff: Don't you hate the whole "Hollywood" aspect of it? I mean, you are a "red-silver", yet in the book you were a regular Siv. No cool scales or anything.
Granak: Hmmph. My scale color is not exactly a proud thing. I'm different from the others. That's not a good thing among my kind. I can only assume that the writer who told the story was honorable enough to leave out my deformity. And I thank them for that.
Raistlehoff: Is there anything good about your kind?
Granak: Of course. We're not the evil creatures that Solamnic bards make us out to be. We're loyal. Undyingly loyal.
Raistlehoff: Uh, yeah, sure. If you say so.
Granak: Intelligent. Quite good looking.
Raistlehoff: Now you're just being sarcastic.
Granak: The pinnacle of perfection. Just below dragons in over all beautry.
Raistlehoff: Except you don't have nipples.
Granak: Dragons, mind you, don't have nipples.
Raistlehoff: Nipples are fun you know. But I shouldn't go there. *grin* Moving right along. :) It was great to read about that Yakanoh jackass getting knocked off in DM though wasn't it?
Granak: Yes it was. Unfortunately I was not the one to kill him. I wanted to. In personal combat. Dying to goblins, however is a much better fate for the likes of him.
Raistlehoff: Is there anybody on Krynn you really wish you'd have the chance to meet?
Granak: Hmmmmm. Hrrph. I would have liked to have met... Betrem of the library of Palanthas. I have a great number of questions about his master's histories.
Raistlehoff: What about anybody you've met that you wish you hadn't?
Granak: No particularly. Each i have met were dealt with in some way. Raistlin Majere died for his own folly. Yakanoh, to goblins. My old master Ariakas died in Neraka.
Raistlehoff: You met my father!? You liar!
Granak: Oh no. I have. I was once a part of the Red Watch, the supreme body guards for Ariakas in Sanction. Majere spoke often with Ariakas, and as my masters guard. I've met raistlin. That was back in the Draconian War. Or War of the Lance to you do-gooders.
Raistlehoff: He was rather overrated, wouldn't you agree?
Granak: Perhaps. But I would never underestimate Raistlin. He did fool the Dark Queen, helped in my master's downfall, and afterall singlehandedly ended the Draconian War. I wouldn't put it past him to come back at any time and wreak havok upon Krynn. The man just doesn't stay dead. If you claim to be his spawn, no wonder you think yourself a demigod.
Raistlehoff: Hey, I'm the son of Raistlin from an alternate universe, where he IS a god. Atleast he succeeded in some universe. Plus I can talk to the dead. But then, who can't these days? Is it true that you once met the Queen of Darkness herself?
Granak: Yes. In fact, I was extremely honored for it. She came to me in the form of a woman with platnum blonde hair, as a writer. She was very winning, and awe inspiring.
Raistlehoff: Well, I suppose if Raistlin has time to write a book while trying to become a god, Takhisis would have time for it as well while trying to take over the world. Speaking of history, what is it with this timeline project of yours anyways? Do you really think people care what a draconian has to say on the matter? Having read the timeline, well, having skimmed it, don't you think it's biased a bit in favor of draconians?
Granak: Well I doubt any other than draconians favor that work. Since starting it, I've had 153 messages from those who have read it. 106 question my audacity and arrogance. 47 have been intrigued, inspired, and understanding even if they disagree with my theories. I've come to disregard those others. As long as Kang and Slith and other draconians know something about the world and it's politics, I'm satisfied.
Raistlehoff: Wow, that's alot of people you really did't want to talk to. :)
Granak: The message have come to me over the course of 3 years. Some by arrowpoint, some by magic.
Raistlehoff: So you don't think you're just extolling of the virtues of the draconian race, showing distain for all the other races of Krynn when you read between the lines, that sort of thing?
Granak: Well of course. Extolling the virtues of the draconian race goes without saying, because draconians are the supreme race behind dragons. We just need large numbers.
Raistlehoff: Now that you have female dracs, is the draconian race going to breed like rabbits, eventually taking over all of Ansalon? Cause you guys don't strike me as the farming types.
Granak: I would assume with the girls, the attempt will be many. As for taking over ansalon... we'll have to see. There are still great numbers of elves and humans. It would be a great war to see who wins.
Raistlehoff: So, have any of those female draconians caught your eye? Plan on setting down and having little Granaks of your own some day?
Granak: Hrrrrmssss. No. It's not likely. The two sivaks, Hanra and Shanra have settled on sharing Slith. As for others, well, they'll need to focus on mating with their own.
Raistlehoff: Sucks to be the odd man, er, drac out, doesn't it?
Granak: Although it WOULD be amusing to see what daughters Hanra and Shanra can produce. It's a common joke among the troops to call Slith "daddy in law". Those who do, go to the stockade for a week, but the rest find it amusing.
Raistlehoff: Oh, maybe I'll drop by the stockade after the interview then. I could use some more amusement. :) You mentioned wanting to meet Bertrem. I'm guessing then that the the Library of Palanthas hasn't offered you a job yet? Or you have yet to apply for any, ahh, available position? Not that I could see you in those aesthetics robes.
Granak: No. No job offers have been given yet. I would be honored, even a bit excited to see what historical knowledge they have. But I'm quite content commenting on what's been published.
Raistlehoff: Ok, last question! Maybe. What advice would you give to those who try and befriend a draconian?
Granak: Well for one, a "demi-god" should never handle a draconian's lunch. That will only make him hunt you and make YOU dinner. But beyond that, stand your ground, be brave, and try to use your brains and convince me your not worth eating.
Raistlehoff: It sounds like you guys'll eat just about anything then if you'll eat a helpless kender!
Granak: Anything meaty will do.
Raistlehoff: Umm, go find some chickens or something to pluck. I'm off!
Granak: Get back here!
Raistlehoff: Umm, that's ok. I need to get this interview off to Lady Raist before she breaks out the whip!
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