Lord of the Rings is a DL Ripoff!
Dear Mr. Jackson,
How are you? I wanted to take a moment to write to you. This is an assignment for my eighth grade English class. We have to write to someone important and I had a few things to say about your Lord of the Rings movies. I wanted to tell you how much of a rip-off they are. See, I'm a big Dragonlance fan and I have read just about all six or eight books or whatever so I know what I'm talking about. I've watched your two movies and all I can think of is that they pale in comparison to the real thing. I can't believe Wizards of the Coast even let you make them. You must be breaking some copyright laws or something. Can't you do something no one has thought of before? There are so many things that you have taken directly from Dragonlance it's not even funny.
First let's start with some of your characters. How about Frodo and his "Uncle" Bilbo. You know there is this character called Tasslehoff that is much cooler than Frodo. At least he's fearless and stuff. Frodo is always so worried and whining about stuff, Tas would never do that. Tas has an uncle too, just like Frodo. So I can see why you included him since he is the Ringbearer, but I just wish you could have made him fearless and funny like Tas was.
Then you have Gimli who is like such a rip-off from Flint. I wanted to throw my popcorn down in disgust at how blatant that rip-off was. He's like a Flint Clone, always so dour and grim and wise cracking. I'm surprised he hasn't called Frodo a doorknob yet. Maybe that's in the third movie.
What about Strider. Gee where did you get the idea for a strong brooding leader type with conflicting emotions over a human and an elf? How about from Tanis Half-Elven? Same deal man, same deal. I mean dye his hair red and you got Tanis. It's just that simple. Liv Tyler is like Laurana and that other chick is all military like Kitiara. Can't you come up with ANYTHING that Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman haven't done before?!?
Then there is the elf Legolas which is the spitting image of Gilthanas. I would expect him to fall in love with a dragon, if you HAD any! Come on man, Lord of the Rings is like "Dragonlance Light". Listen here's a little tip. If you want to have a cool fantasy movie you have got to have dragons. I'm looking for dragons and you're giving me like walking trees and stuff. That was boring, but at least it was original.
Oh yeah! Then you got this Gollum guy that is lowly and dirty and doesn't talk so good and stuff. Dragonlance has them too, they're called Gullies and we got bunches of them. Not just one. Even the name is a rip-off Gullies, Gollum pretty darn close. Then you got those Ringwraith guys. But you just took that from Lord Soth and his skeletal warriors. And Lord Soth could kill any one of those dudes with just his bare hands.
And what about Gandalf! I mean dude, he is just a more serious Fizban. Long grey robes, bent pointy hat, long white beard, friend to the little people. Later he turns into this powerful white robe and Fizban is discovered to be the god Paladine! Man I saw that coming when he fell off that cliff fighting that Balrog creature. By the way, I've been meaning to ask, if he's a wizard, why didn't he just fly or teleport to safety, duh?
So anyway, I just wanted to let you know that there are people out there that know where you got all your ideas from and we're just not buying into it man. I hope part three is somewhat more original than those boring tree guys.
Keep trying and you just might come up with something cool on your own someday.
Thanks,
Jeff "Raistlin" Mitchell
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