Raistlinitis
What kind of disease can kill a lich?!?
That was the question that raced through the Tower in the wake of the Tower Guardian's demise. No answer was forthcoming. IT made no sense whatsoever. It had only killed an undead member of our staff, but none of us could say if IT could get at the living (namely, us). We did not even know what IT was. IT had not set off any of the security systems normally oriented on monstrous threats, and the very idea of poison seemed ludicrous. Let me assure you, the Tower Guardian had long been exposed to the worst this world and the next had to offer (and that was just cleaning up from a party). So, we decided it must have been either a disease or a curse.
So we had a problem, and that problem was swiftly dubbed "raistlinitis". Creativity was not high on our priority list. But, a disease that can take down the undead would become famous, and we wanted to be certain, up front, credit was distributed to those who would best appreciate it.
We locked up Rambling Rose (which, I admit, had the additional benefit of bringing peace and quiet to the Tower for a bit), who found the TG's corpse. Then Lady Raist assigned me to study the cause of death…well…. Ok, ok. There is just no adequate term for an undead being dying.
After a bit of study and many cups of very good coffee…I will say one thing for enlightened self-interest among the Raistlins, the coffee budget for this project was generous…I had found the cause. The Tower surveillance records helped immeasurably. The symptoms were revealed in a recording of the Tower Guardian, made just two days before his untimely demise. Believing himself unobserved, he was actually singing to himself. A cappella. Much to my horror, I identified the song: "I'm Too Sexy…". The Tower Guardian had even started modifying it. "I'm…too sexy for this mop" indeed!
Fortunately, and after a few necessary forget spells and some completely justifiable tape destruction (I needed to remember the overall picture of events for my findings report, but some of the specific details…needed to be forever removed from history), I had the information I needed. Raistlinitis was identified. I even found a culprit, as only one Raistlin had ever cast the magic on the Tower Guardian that could allow the disease to infect the lich: Raisted (figures, really; the messes around here are often his).
We let Rambling Rose back out of…quarantine…since my findings made it clear that she did not have the disease. And then I set about magically capturing the disease itself from the air and typed up my findings (exactly enough time to finish the good coffee) for the Tower library. My work was finished.
Then Raistlehoff suggested my findings might be useful for the roleplaying gamers out there (amid cries of "prejudice!" and "discrimination", let me point out that it is someone else's problem to convert my findings for use in computer roleplaying games). Since rules on this were of obvious and integral importance to any dungeon master now or in the future, I agreed.
Raislinitis
This disease is actually a positive energy curse, though it behaves in most respects like a "natural" disease (including being a disease carried by the air). The curse "infects" an undead being that has been previously exposed to certain powerful magical effects. Past victims of this diseases have included liches and death knights, as appropriate examples of this powerful magic being used on lesser undead are rare. Raislinitis cannot infect a living being, nor be carried by one, but can survive for months or years as an airborne contagion. The disease has no negative effect on the living (which is why our Tower defenses did not notice it).
Disease: Raislinitis
Infection: Inhaled (Special)
Fort. DC: 20 (Special)
Incubation: 1d3 years
Damage: Special
Description: This disease infects only creatures with the Undead type. It has no effect on creatures without that Type. Additionally, it can only infect those Undead creatures that have previously been given some semblance of positive aspects of "life" using Enchantment spells cast by an arcane or divine spellcaster with a minimum Caster Level 13. Finally, it can only infect undead creatures that are speaking out loud to a living being at the time of infection. Infection by this disease is not prevented by having the Undead type.
"Damage" caused by this disease is special. Instead of causing ability score damage, the disease actually affects the victim by granting a special "temporary" +1 bonus to Charisma. Every failed save adds another bonus, which stacks with the previous bonuses. These bonuses last until either the creature makes two consecutive successful saves and successfully recovers from the disease, or until the creature's Charisma exceeds 22. If the creature recovers, the infection ends and the temporary bonuses to Charisma are lost at a rate of +1 per day until the creature's Charisma returns to its pre-infection value (at which point the creature can be re-infected if exposed again to the disease). If the creature's Charisma score ever exceeds 22 while infected with this disease, the gods correct the tremendous imbalance by obliterating the spirit of the offensive Undead creature. The creature is destroyed automatically with no save. Though the body is left behind, the creature cannot subsequently be revived or reanimated by any magical means (even a wish spell will be overruled by the Highgod).
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