Strange Roadside Attractions of Krynn
So I decided to take my summer vacation... ok... ok... so I was kicked out again and told that if I didn't write an article on something I would be banned permanently from the tower. And since I left my best pair of shoes and Rolling Stones albums within I decided that I would come up with something to get back in. So the following list is a number of places I visited while I was on vacation.
Rodent Graveyard
North of the kender village of Hands-Off is a place both morbid and endearing. There is a large hill littered with what appears to be small stones, but in actuality are gravestones. The kender of Hands-Off have a rodent problem. Rats and mice abound, but they refuse to treat them inhumanely so every time one of the critters dies the kender carve a gravestone and bury them. Ghost stories from the Rodent Graveyard are both scary and sad.
Mystical Lights
On the Isle of Schallsea, near the home of the mystics, there is a location on the east coast near a collection of natural steam vents where visitors claim they can see mystical lights. The lights appear at different times throughout the day. Visitors will travel from all over Ansalon to lay among the steam vents and view the radiant lights. (Rumors indicate that a recent investigation by a group of gnomes from Mount Nevermind has discovered a certain poisonous volcanic gas that induces hallucinations, this might be the cause of the Mystic Lights but one can't be for sure.
The Raistlin Squash
For those "Raistlinites" that can't get enough Raistlin you can visit the home of Eda Mellowmoon who lives south of Solanthus. She is the proud owner of the Raistlin Squash. This squash (which has been magically preserved by a traveling wizard) bears a remarkable resemblance to the face of Raistlin Majere. Maybe it's the yellow skin or the piercing wart-like eyes, but this gourd is the spitting image of the greatest wizard of all time.
Cobweb County
Nicknamed "Cobweb County" the town of Cobweb has a unique quality. It constantly seems to have large collections of webs dispersed throughout the city. The webs are strong in texture and very white. The strange thing however is that no one has ever seen any spiders. The residents of Cobweb have given up trying to explain it. The latest incident to arise in the town is the appearance of words in the webs, such as "Radiant" and "Humble". It appears that some sort of message is being sent to the townspeople, but what it actually is no one has determined yet.
Rooter the Two-headed Piglet
For the past three decades Rooter the two-headed piglet has delighted crowds of onlookers. The tiny runt with multiple heads born over thirty years ago, which died after only one year of life, brings a smile to everyone who sees him... uhmmm them? Located west of Neraka in the pig farming community of Humdrum, Rooter is something of a celebrity. The locals swear that rubbing the pigs dual heads brings anyone good luck.
Largest Replica Cheese
The story of the Ansalon's Largest Cheese is an inspiring one, requiring the combined efforts of the Solamnia Dairy and Cheese Association and 16,000 cows. This 17-ton cheddar was displayed at the 264 Palanthas World's Fair, and toured Ansalon on a specially designed wagon known as the Cheesemobile. The remains of the gargantuan Cheddar can be found outside the city of Hylo, where the tour came to a tragic, yet tasty end.
M.I.M.E.
There is a strange place located on the outskirts of Palanthas known as M.I.M.E., the Mental Institution for Mute Entertainment. They offer tours for the general public to promote awareness for the problems of dealing with deaf mute entertainers. They paint the students with white faces to tell them apart from the visitors. The setting is truly surreal.
Mysterious Outhouse
People line up for miles around to use this outhouse. This outdoor privy is renowned for its magical properties. It all started with Frung Demoss a potato farmer in southern Lemish who built your ordinary average outhouse. He assisted a blackrobed wizard who he said would pay him back in kind. His gift to the farmer was enchanting the old mans outhouse. Now all the waste from the outhouse mysteriously disappears. In fact anything pit into the hole disappears including a good number of kender visitors. (Not that that is any big loss to anyone anyway.)
Gully Dwarf Ranch
For those of you with strong stomachs and a dull sense of smell you may want to visit the Gully Dwarf ranches of Blode. The Ogres there have discovered a new method of raising gully dwarves to improve the taste and quality of the dwarves. They have recently released them from their cages and now allow them to run free among piles of garbage and refuse. These free-range gullies are entertaining to watch, and according to the locals are much more healthy, juicy and better tasting.
Pittsville Enchanted Forest
The dirt farmers of Pittsville needed a change. Tired of toiling at their labors they decided to make their town into a tourist spot. So they built hundreds of tacky wooden sculptures and placed them along the trails surrounding their small village. Now called the "Enchanted Forest" the citizens of Pittsville actually charge admission to walk the forest trails. Latest rumors claim that a druid has begun burning the wooden decorations. So better check it out quick if you want to see it.
Well, there you go. "How I spent my Summer Vacation". When I get back in that kender Tavin better not have my Albums again or I'll strangle him!
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