Ask Vinny (Volume Two)
Today we have some new questions submitted to us by our loyal fans. While the rest of the boys has left the building to pursue more (ahem) profitable lines of work, I've decided to aid the dames running this site here. Don't go asking what else I'm getting. That's nobody's business but mine.
So, let's see what we have in the mailbox today...
Rohan writes:
If an author disrespects Me, what're your prices to crush their feet/drill their kneecaps/do woodwork with them at midnight. I'm asking because as competing Vengeance Service Providers, I think we should agree on a price range and run the business oligopolistically, rather than get into a mutually destructive price war.No one likes a price war, Mr. T. Certainly not us. Our prices are governed by how well the authors perform, of course. Eddie the Bull established a little ratings chart once. It looked something like this:
| Author | Price (per joint) |
| First-time novelists/short story authors | - 50 Steel |
| Authors with 2-4 novels | - 100 Steel |
| Prolific authors (publishing 1 novel/yr) | - 200 Steel |
| Best-Selling Authors | - 500 Steel |
| Award-Winning Authors | - 1000 Steel |
| Best-Selling, Award-Winning Authors | - 2000 Steel |
| Game Designers | - 2 Steel |
So as you can see, our fees do vary. We hope our people and your people can reach a mutually greed upon pay scale.
Bryan writes:
Who is the One God REALLY? It's me, isn't it?Actually the One God is Ed Greenwood. Mina is the Daughter of Drizzt and Cattie-Brie, given powers by Elminster and 'dramaticly enhanced' by R.A. Salvatore. The sixth age will be known as The Age of Munchkins. Look for Book One, Elminster kills Everyone, in stores in 2002.
Darren writes:
Do you think that there should be cases of substance abuse in krynn besides alcohol? like say a mage looking for a certain green "herb" or a bunch of kender tripping out on shrooms?Sure. Why not? Ansalon needs more drooling, mindless idiots who will do everything we tell them just to get their next hit. It needs a lot of brain-fried losers who've lost everything life had to offer them. If only everyone could be so tripped out on drugs that they can't even lift a sword to fight back when evil's knocking on their door. Bring it on. It makes the job that much easier for us Mafia types.
As entertaining as all you folks are out there, I gotta take a break here, and check out where the rest of those letters went to. There's a lone kender wandering around here, and I may have to look into some sort of "kender control" about it soon. I'll be back next week with more answers for your questions. Email your questions today!
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