The Gift Exchange
"Please tell me this is a joke."
"I can't do that, Marn. I would be lying." The older, white-robed man leaned back in his chair, gazing steadily at the young man across the table. "That is the plan for our evening. We all agreed a couple days ago."
"Why can't we celebrate Yule like any other group of adventuring friends? Get drunk, tell old stories, get more drunk, watch the big guy take on all comers for the evening's after-dinner entertainment, that sort of thing? Ven, I haven't made a gift for someone else since I was a kid in school. Why did you have to come up with this?"
"Because it will be good for the spiritual health of everyone. I care about such things, Marn. It's my calling."
"I think I liked it better when a cleric just healed our paper cuts," Marn muttered into his beard.
"What was that?" Ven asked, a twinkle in his eye betraying his sharp hearing.
"Nothing," Marn sourly responded. "Why did you have to agree with Duvor's added rule that the gift must be handmade for this…gift exchange? You do realize that Duvor will actually make something, Chislev preserve us." Marn shuddered at a mental image of the gnome pulling a wagon with a package into the tavern….followed immediately by the violent exodus of all the tavern patrons, Marn included, through tavern doors, windows, and walls.
"It'll be alright, Marn. How much of a disaster can Duvor possibly build into one of his……inventions…..using only 5 silver in materials and only two day's worth of work?"
"The only good answer to that question involves you not having to heal any burns this evening. And Keeva? You managed to sweet-talk all of us into this…gift exchange. But what about the town magistrate? What did you have to bribe him with, to get him to agree?"
"Marn, kender understand the spiritual significance of a Yule gift exchange better then anyone. Keeva won't....ah, borrow….her gift."
Marn glared at the serene expression on the cleric's face. "Not even you can possibly be that optimistic!"
"And what about Crack? Did he even understand what we're doing tonight?" Marn frowned. What could the massive half-ogre actually make, besides broken bones?
"Crack and I had a bit of talk early this morning, before he left to finish his gift. I'm less worried about his offering then I am anyone else's."
Marn sighed, and then stood. Slinging his pack over a shoulder, he nodded a goodbye to the cleric. "Well, I have an afternoon left. I guess I best get to it, Ven. You'll all be lucky if I don't find a frozen, long-dead squirrel only a gully dwarf could love, and bring that as a gift."
Ven finally smiled widely. "Maybe."
A log cracked in the fireplace as Marn walked into the tavern that night. It had started snowing heavily halfway through the day while he was out, and snowflakes billowed in on the wind as he stepped into the warmth of the common room.
Shaking the snow from his clothing and cloak, Marn gazed around the room. The room was full and loud. He spotted Crack over near the bar, towering over the other tavern patrons. Crack appeared to be listening to someone standing beside him with a familiar confused expression on his face. Marn saw no sign of either Duvor or Keeva. With Crack, maybe? Shaking his head ruefully, Marn continued walking through the crowd. Poor Crack, if that were the case.
Marn made his way back to the table where he had left Ven that afternoon. The cleric was seated at the table alone. He did not appear to have moved the entire afternoon. The table had five wine goblets and four wrapped packages on it, but the four other chairs around the table were empty. Marn smiled slightly, wondering if Ven was protecting the packages from damage…..or Keeva's insatiable curiosity.
Setting a fifth wrapped package down on the table, Marn took a seat across from Ven. Ven looked the new package over, and a slight smile wrinkled his face. "You wrapped it in bark? Chislev undoubtedly appreciates that devoted gesture this Yule."
"Whatever else am I going to use for wrapping paper in the middle of a forest at night, and in the middle of a snowstorm? As it was, I was lucky a woodsman took down one of the large trees south of town during the day, so I could extract sap from the stump to use to stick the bark together."
Ven chuckled, and then glanced off to his left. "Ah, I see our three friends are returning. Keeva was getting a bit….bored, and Duvor was all but spilling the details on his Secret Yule Gift Mark IV. So I asked Crack to place orders of food for all of us according to our preferences, while we all waited for you. Oh, and sent both Duvor and Keeva with him to help him keep the orders straight."
"What? That's crazy. Crack couldn't manage that even in the best of times, and Duvor and Keeva together helping would guarantee him spending forever trying to figure out…..oh." Marn shook his head. "I get it."
"Paladine forgive me occasional harmless pranks played on my friends," the cleric intoned in a serious and pious voice, though his eyes gleamed with a look of mischief worthy of Keeva.
Marn was spared a reply, as the pair was joined by their three friends. Crack was the first of the trio to speak, as he settled into the largest chair at the table. The smaller Duvor and Keeva settled into chairs built higher from the ground to make the table comfortable for them.
"I sorry Ven. I try. And Keeva and Duvor try very, very hard to help me. But I got confuse-ed."
Ven smiled assuredly, all mischief gone from his expression. "It's ok Crack. The fault was actually mine. Thank you for coming back to the table when you saw Marn come in. Now then, the gift exchange….."
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"DUVOR!!"
The gnome blinked, and then slowed his speech to a dignified pace. "Sorry about that. As I was saying…."
"Exactly how many 'greats' did he manage to squeeze in, that time? I lost count," Keeva interrupted the gnome again with a grin.
Duvor blinked again. "That was eight. As I was saying though….."
"I like Ven plan. He tell me this morning," Crack broke in. "I think I not confuse-ed after. It is good plan."
The comment was so out-of-character for the big man that even Duvor's formidable train of thought was utterly derailed and the gnome fell silent. Marn looked at Crack in surprise, and then glanced at Ven. "In that case, I think we better hear Ven's idea."
Ven smiled. "I hope this might work for everyone. We have five friends here, and five gifts. We each draw one card from my hand, sight unseen." The cleric held up his right hand, now holding five cards. "Each card has a name on it, corresponding to the gift giver. If anyone happens to draw their own name, they redraw. Will that work for everyone?"
Keeva clapped her hands and jumped to her feet. "Definitely!" Her hand snaked out and deftly snagged one of the cards from Ven's hand before he could react. Glancing down at the writing on it, she grinned widely. "We can't tell who we've drawn until after everyone draws. That will make it more fun."
Marn rolled his eyes. "So says you after you see what name you have." He sighed. "I'm fine with that." Reaching out, he took a card. Duvor, and then Crack, each took a card from Ven's hand. Each then looked at the name on the card.
"So," said Ven. "Has anyone drawn their own name?" The four friends shook their heads no. "Good. Crack, you start."
"I have Duvor."
Duvor grinned and pushed a plain, brown paper package towards the half-ogre. "I think you will really like this. I had to stay up all night last night to get it to work and I had to go through three previous versions in order to get it right and you wouldn't believe how difficultitwastofindallthematerialsthatIneededinordertocompleteitunderbudget…." The gnome's speech steadily blurred into incomprehensibility as his excitement rose. Crack's eyes began to glaze over, trying to follow the smaller man's speech.
Meanwhile, Marn groaned and glanced around for nearby and accessible exits from the building. He did prefer a door, or at least a window, rather then one of the sturdy wood walls if it came to that……
"Okay Duvor. Just let Crack open his gift." Ven broke into the gnome's stream of speech when he paused for a breath.
Meanwhile, the half-ogre was carefully trying to unwrap the package without damaging (or igniting!) whatever might be inside. As the wrapper finally came free, Marn braced to dive away.
The invention appeared to be a small, metal box. Each side was no bigger then a human man's palm. It was brightly painted in green, white, and red stripes, and appeared to have a hinged lid on top. There was a crank on the side of the box. Crack looked at it, obviously trying to figure out what came next.
Duvor pointed at the box. "You need to turn the crank. Don't worry. I don't think it'll break if you're careful."
Marn decided not to ask what might happen if Crack wasn't careful.
Crack, though simple by anyone's standards, was still not stupid enough not to understand the danger inherent in the gnomish device in front of him. Reaching out carefully, he began turning the crank. They all heard a steady tick-tick-tick from the box. After turning the crank twice, Crack released the crank and leaned back. The box began ticking louder and faster by itself. Marn winced in anticipation…..
With a sharp clack, the box lid flew open! Everyone at the table except Duvor rocked back in surprise. A sign popped two feet out of the box and began bouncing in the air on a coiled spring. The words 'BOOO!!!! Happy Yule!!! Your Friend Duvor' were painted in bold, green letters.
Crack grinned in delight. "I like it. How it work?"
Ven swiftly stopped the gnome's imminent design analysis by indicating Duvor should go next. As Duvor read Ven's name, and Ven pushed a small package wrapped in white linen, Marn sighed with relief. However, when he took a closer look at the sign bouncing outside the box, he noted some tiny print written in black ink at the base of the large painted words: 'Yule Gift Box Mark IV. Patent Pending. Note: Marks I through III of design failed through unstable results resulting from using too much propellent….' Marn immediately stopped reading Duvor's disclaimer. He didn't want to know……
The gnome laughed with delight as he read the large label on the side of the glass jar he had just unwrapped: 'BURN CREAM'.
"Thank you Ven! I've been needing this what with my latestendeavourstowardspropellingsignsoutofboxesandbooksandcupboardsandallthetestingrequiredbyCommitteenowadaysforadequatepatentauthorization…."
"Yes Duvor. I knew this would be a good gift." Ven smoothly broke into the gnome's speech.
Keeva's face wrinkled in confusion. "But how did you know that Duvor would get your gift Ven?"
Ven smiled slightly. "I didn't. It just happened that way. However, given Duvor's tendencies to try his devices when we are all within the blast radius, I knew that it would be an appropriately useful gift for any of us. Now then, I have Keeva's name."
The kender actually blushed as Keeva shyly pushed her package towards the cleric. The small package was wrapped in what appeared to be a combination of maps and what looked suspiciously like a proclamation they had seen on a tree a few days before. "I really hope you like this, Ven. I had either Duvor or Marn in mind when I first came up with the idea, but maybe it makes more sense that you got it."
Ven unwrapped the gift. It appeared to be a small, enclosed glass disk with a metal needle some how floating in the top. Ven raised an eyebrow as he turned the disk for a closer look, and saw the needle floated independently of the movement, still pointed in the same direction.
Keeva smiled widely, her embarrassment of a few minutes ago gone. "I didn't know if anyone had ever seen one of these before. A dwarf showed me how to make one. It always points south, no matter how you turn or twist it. It's so that you always know the right direction."
The last comment brought a wide smile to Ven's face. "Yes Keeva. I agree with you. It does make sense that I got your gift. Thank you."
Marn chuckled. "Well, if nothing else, Keeva will be able to share the blame the next time one of her maps tries to drop us all in a smoke-filled chasm."
"Hey!" the kender exclaimed, glaring at Marn. "It's not my fault the map maker forgot the Footprint…….."
Crack, surprisingly, interrupted the impending argument. "Marn. You next."
"Funny you should mention that, Crack. I drew your name."
"Oh good. You like this, Marn." With that, Crack pushed a large package wrapped in what appeared to be an old blanket towards Marn.
Marn unfolded the blanket, and then stopped and stared in shocked surprise at what the package contained. Keeva's jaw dropped. Duvor blinked, rubbed his eyes, and blinked again. Only Ven appeared placidly unsurprised by the gift. Crack looked at Marn, a childlike expression mixing hope and fear filling his face. "Marn like gift?"
"Crack, I don't know what to say. Thank you doesn't seem to even begin to cover it. I guess I have to ask you how?"
"How I make gift? Or how you get gift?"
"Well, let's start with how exactly I ended up with this gift. We drew names randomly….." Marn broke off, and shot a swift and direct glance at Ven. The cleric's face was the absolute picture of serene innocence. Nonetheless, Ven's earlier words echoed in Marn's mind. 'Crack and I had a bit of talk early this morning…...I'm less worried about his offering then I am anyone else's…..Paladine forgive me occasional harmless pranks played on my friends.' Pranks, as in more then one!
"Sometimes, Ven, I think you are a bad influence on Keeva."
"What?" Keeva's surprised voice and Ven's innocent voice overlapped almost precisely.
Marn lifted the gift carefully off the blanket, and looked at it in the firelight. It was a ceramic feather. Whatever clay had been used to make it shimmered in the firelight through colors of yellow, blue, and green. It was a symbol of Chislev, and one executed exquisitely and with an incredible eye for detail.
"I learn from potter before meet you, Marn. Left town when potter died. People not like Crack there. You friend when no one else was. I good with clay, so I make for you."
"In the last two days?" Marn asked incredulously.
"No. I work on it last two years. Clay hard to find. And I never happy with it. Ven talk I into finish it. Friend of Ven in town help I finish in one day what normally takes three for 5 silver. Ven say you get it. Ven say you like it. I glad you do."
"I am too Crack. I am too." Marn shook his head inwardly. Who'd have thought it…….
Marn turned to the kender. "And now I think Keeva should unwrap my gift, so that we can get on with this Yule."
Keeva grinned. "I hoped I would be last. This is going to be great! I could smell this present as soon as I sat down."
The kender swiftly stripped off the bark covering. Inside was what appeared to be a log, like any that might be found in the woodpile next to the tavern fireplace. It's dull red color, the slightly odd smell radiating from it, and a nearly indistinguishable carved symbol were the only things that set it apart.
"Oh wow Marn! I've seen these, but never one that looked and smelled quite like this!"
"Nor will you again," Marn grumbled. "I'm not making another one. You don't even want to know how hard it is to make one of these in a single afternoon in the dead of winter. If Ven wants to do another one of these gift exchanges next year, someone's going to have to be satisfied with a dead squirrel!"
Ven grinned. "Well, throw it on the fire, Keeva."
As the log began to char and burn, a smell started filling the air. It was a hard smell to identify pin down. Everyone smelled something different. The old Ergothian sailor in the corner, long parted from a ship's mast, smelled once again the salt air and the smell of fish. The Solamnic woodsmen filling much of the tavern smelled the healthy forest of spring, with sap again running through the branches. The small group of Plainsmen, separated from their homeland this Yule by the deep snows, nonetheless smelled the sweet grasses of home. Everyone quieted in wonder, as the smells of nature filled their senses.
Duvor sneezed explosively.
Marn grinned at the gnome. "Figures you would be allergic to Chislev's blessing."
The fire began flickering, and ripples of color began to fill the fireplace. Shades of yellows and light greens filled the fireplace, the slight sounds of birds filled the air in the tavern. As with the smells, all heard those birds most typical of their home or favorite place. After a couple moments, the colors deepened to more vibrant shades of greens and blues. The sounds of water rushing subtle wove around quiet animal sounds. Crickets, otters, and wolves mixed a symphony. The colors shattered into a dramatic display of oranges, yellows, reds, and purples. The sounds of jumping fish, and squirrels chattering to one other filled the room. Finally, the swirling colors began to slow, and fade out. The fireplace was filled with white, which seemed to cast long shadows throughout the tavern. The tinkling of water upon ice trickled through the air, with the wind as a soft backup. The windows of the tavern seemed to clear, and the snow falling outside reflected the white light from within the tavern.
Then, suddenly, it was all over. The fireplace returned to its normal light. The tavern remained quiet for a few moments, and then sound began to swell again, as one turned to another, excitedly talking about the vision they had all just shared.
"THAT WAS GREAT!" Keeva's high-pitched shout rang throughout the tavern. "THAT WAS THE BEST GIFT I HAVE EVER GOTTEN!!" Keeva bounded out of her seat, agilely vaulted the table, and hugged a highly embarrassed Marn, caught by surprise as he opened his eyes from prayer. Ven, Duvor, and Crack laughed, as did many of the patrons sitting at tables around them.
"You're welcome, Keeva." Gently but firmly, Marn struggled to escape the kender.
Ven smiled sympathetically at Marn, and took up the wine goblet in front of him. "And now friends, a toast." The rest of the friends reached for their goblets and lifted them. Keeva released Marn so she could walk back around the table to her own wine goblet.
Looking around to see all ready, "We give thanks for our lives and the friendship we all share at this table. May the next year bring us another year of fellowship and laughter as we continue to enjoy this world we live in." The friends drank together, and together placed empty wine goblets back upon the table.
A silent moment of contemplation past, and then Marn glared at Ven.
"Now can we get drunk, tell old stories, get more drunk, and watch the big guy take on all comers for the evening's after-dinner entertainment?
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