It's that time again everybody! Time once more for.....
Tavin's Nugget of Joy 10-01-97
Special Report:
Today we conducted an exclusive interview with the Dragon Overlord, Fenalysten. The following is the interview of the Red (whom humans call Cinder) by none other than everybody's buddy, Tavin Springfingers.
| Tavin: | Excuse me! Hey! Mr. Cinder, sir! Down here! Hallo, my name is Tavin Springfingers from Today on Krynn.....
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| Cinder: | Today on huh?
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| Tavin: | Krynn! Krynn! It's an informative news article on the best of what's happening in the world.
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| Cinder: | Why should I give a [censored] about what's happening on Krynn?
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| Tavin: | Well, actually, I was hoping to interview you......
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| Cinder: | I don't have time to talk to a babbling Kender! Go away before I make you a crispy critter!
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| Tavin: | PLEASE!!!!!!!! It'll be good PR!
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| Cinder: | ........Good PR? Well why didn't you say so before?!? What can I do ya for?
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| Tavin: | Oh, goody! Let's see here..... Hmm..... How do you breathe fire? And do you ever have problems with it?
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| Cinder: | Oooh. That's a good question. Let's see...... Well it goes like this: I, and many other red dragons, drink a lot of kerosene. It's actually pretty good stuff. Then what you do is breathe in very deeply; causing lots of oxygen to mix with the kerosene. Then you turn on the pilot light (which is located in the back of the mouth) and exhale. It's really that simple. You really have to be careful how you use it though! As for problems...... let's just say that I haven't had anything to eat that could be considered raw....... everything is cooked by the time I'm done.
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| Tavin: | Hey! Neat! Could you give us a demonstration?
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| Cinder: | Sure! (Inhaling deeply, Cinder spouts torrents of fire around the cave. Following which, the roof caves in upon everyone)
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| Tavin: | Ouch........
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| Cinder: | Oh [censored], I just destroyed my lair! That's just [censored] great! Of all the [censored], [censored], [censored] things that can go wrong!!
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| Tavin: | Hey that was pretty fun!
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| Cinder: | [EXTREMELY CENSORED]!!!!!!!!
Tavin:
| So, what are your plans for the future? |
Cinder:
| The future? Well actually, I plan on attacking Neraka and getting some of those mountains. I hate having less mountains than Malys and Pyro! |
Tavin:
| But you're all red dragons! Shouldn't you guys be friends? |
Cinder:
| ............................................ |
Cinder:
| Tavin:....................................... |
Cinder:
| ............................................!! |
Tavin:
| ...................... Guess I hit a sore spot! |
Cinder:
| Whatever....... |
Tavin:
| Well, thanks for the interview! |
Cinder:
| Uh, yeah, any time..... NOW GO AWAY!! |
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Today on Krynn is not responsible for any embellishment on the part of our reporter, Tavin. In fact, we are pretty sure that almost everything he said didn't happen, but he was the only reporter we could connive into talking to the dragon.
Stay alert for the latest developments.
---Coming Soon: An interview with Pitch!!---
That's all for now on Today in Krynn
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