It is time once again, weary travelers, for the most inhumane torture to ever exist on the net. Yes, I'm talking about.....
Tavin's Nugget of Joy 10-06-97
| Tavin: | Unfortunately, friends, today's news is not good. You see, we had an awesome interview with Derric Shieldgaurd arranged, and he went out and got himself killed..... This means you will have to be happy with a page of lame Gully Dwarf jokes.
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| G1: | How many talls it take to change big light. |
| G2: | How many? |
| G1: | Two! |
| Both: | HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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| G1: | How many lizard bosses it take to change big light. |
| G2: | Dunno, how many? |
| G1: | Two! |
| Both: | HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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| G1: | How many ...
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| Voice: | Hey, Tavin! This is lame! Why don't you interview me?
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| Tavin: | Why it's........ It's........ It's.........
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| Voice: | Impolite to stutter?
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| Tavin: | UNCLE TASSLEHOFF!!!!
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| Tas: | Hallo! I just thought I would drop in on my silly nephew and see what was going on. Wanna interview me? It'll be fun!
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| Tavin: | YAAAAAAAYYYYY! Okay....... So, what's it like being dead?
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| Tas: | Well, it's kinda like being alive, but there's a lot more people and much better food.
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| Tavin: | Cool! Who all is up there?
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| Tas: | Uhmmmm..... Flint is there. Tanis is there, but he spends most of his time watching over Laurana. Raistlin is there, but he seemed really upset over your interview with him......
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| Tavin: | HeeHee!
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| Tas: | Berem is there, and he never goes anywhere without his sister. Riverwind is there and he actually smiled again (I think that's because Goldmoon finally showed up. (All they ever do is kiss...) Steel Brightblade is here and good ol' Sturm is too. They just sit around and talk about swordplay and honor and a bunch of other knight junk.
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| Tavin: | So, what are you gonna do now that you're back?
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| Tas: | While I was dead, I heard about a thing called Planewalking. I think I'll try that! Fizban said he can't go with me though. I really was happy to see him again!
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| Tavin: | Did you know that the world has been taken over by REALLY BIG Dragons?
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| Tas: | Yeah, but they all have silly names. What kind of mom names her kid "Beryllanthranox"? Or how about "Khellendros"? It should be omething appropriate like "Big, Fat, Ugly Worm"! "Onysablet". I can't even PRONOUNCE that! "Gellidus" ? By Reorx's Beard! "Jelly-Dust" is a name?
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| Tavin: | What about Malystryx?
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| Tas: | Malystryx...........Malystryx......... Actually, that's ALRIGHT!
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| Tavin: | Hey...... That IS alright!
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| Tas: | MAL- IS- TRIX!!!
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| Tavin: | Muh- LIS- Trix!!
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| Both: | THAT IS ALRIGHT!
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| Tavin: | You going?
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| Tas: | Yeah. Bye!
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| Tavin: | Drop by again!
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| Tas: | Okay!
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