Dragonlance Underground: Tavin's Nugget of Joy 11-07-97

One ring to rule them all,
One ring to find them,
One ring to bring them all,
And in my pocket combine them.
In.... Dragonlance Underground: Tavin's Nugget of Joy 11-07-97

Tavin's Nugget of Joy 11-07-97

By Praxis Dragonfury
Rogue Knight of Takhisis

Today on Krynn:

The Shadow Sorcerer slipped on the Tower floor today and fell down. We are still trying to figure out WHY that is important, but.....

NEW INSIDE NEWS ON MALYSTRYX: Tavin discovered one of Malys' secrets today, and here it is: Malys used to wear braces. Again, we are trying very hard to find some importance in this....

KENDER BAKE SALE CONTINUES: Although rioters have appeared in most major cities as well as Kender lynch mobs, the diminutive bakers continue to wreak havoc with their icing topped terror. One local awoke to find several Swedish Danishes in his stable, but no horses. Many officials believe that no good can come from this bake sale.

In related news, a contingent of Dark Knights was defeated as they tried to sneak into the Citadel of Light. According to an eyewitness, the Dark Paladins fell before a hailstorm of sticky buns.....The Knights refused to comment.

The Gnomes of Mount Nevermind issued a public apology for their rudeness in not being able to run their machines. Unfortunately, none of the Humans present could make heads or tales of what the gnomes were saying because they talk to darn fast...

Rumors have been pouring in from the areas of Mithas and Kothas, the Minotaur Realms. It seems there is unrest among the population. More on this tomorrow.

Tonight marks the Second Annual "Drunk Mage Party". Palin himself is supposed to attend the party as well as newcomer Taelin Bigbritches, the Kender Mage. We will cover the effects of this party tomorrow.

Finally, we are sad to report that our investigative reporter Tavin Springfingers is now officially missing. The last we heard from him was a week and a half ago, when he dropped by to show us a "plane travelling" spoon. He is assumed alive.

That is all for Today on Krynn

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		The Shadow Sorcerer slipped on the Tower floor today and fell down. We are still trying to figure out WHY that is important, but.....
		NEW INSIDE NEWS ON MALYSTRYX: Tavin discovered one of Malys' secrets today, and here it is: Malys used to wear braces. Again, we are trying very hard to find some importance in this....
		KENDER BAKE SALE CONTINUES: Although rioters have appeared in most major cities as well as Kender lynch mobs, the diminutive bakers continue to wreak havoc with their icing topped terror. One local awoke to find several Swedish Danishes in his stable, but no horses. Many officials believe that no good can come from this bake sale.
		In related news, a contingent of Dark Knights was defeated as they tried to sneak into the Citadel of Light. According to an eyewitness, the Dark Paladins fell before a hailstorm of sticky buns.....The Knights refused to comment.
		The Gnomes of Mount Nevermind issued a public apology for their rudeness in not being able to run their machines. Unfortunately, none of the Humans present could make heads or tales of what the gnomes were saying because they talk to darn fast...
		Rumors have been pouring in from the areas of Mithas and Kothas, the Minotaur Realms. It seems there is unrest among the population. More on this tomorrow.
		Tonight marks the Second Annual "Drunk Mage Party". Palin himself is supposed to attend the party as well as newcomer Taelin Bigbritches, the Kender Mage. We will cover the effects of this party tomorrow.
		Finally, we are sad to report that our investigative reporter Tavin Springfingers is now officially missing. The last we heard from him was a week and a half ago, when he dropped by to show us a "plane travelling" spoon. He is assumed alive.