Dragonlance Underground: Tavin's Nugget of Joy 7-28-98

From the Depths of the darkness a small voice calls out!
..... Beware ye of weak stomachs and hard heads...... The terror from beyond strikes yet again.... it is time from the dispassionate reaches of the Grey for..... Dragonlance Underground: Tavin's Nugget of Joy 7-28-98

Tavin's Nugget of Joy 7-28-98

By Tavin Springfingers

Today on Krynn:

AN ANCIENT DRAGON RITUAL was discovered today for the first time in history! Known only as the "Dragon Teacup Ceremony" this horrific event has only been witnessed by two unfortunates (this is due to the fact that the ceremony is only performed when dragons visit each other, a sight few live to tell about). This reporter was lucky enough to get a first person look at the ceremony by disguising himself as a giant Dinner Roll and sneaking in. First, the visiting Dragon is required to remove his claws at the door (something that I found very intriguing due to the fact that I myself have tried that same process innumerous times unsuccessfully...) then they sit down in a large circle and drink hot tea while engaging in strange conversation. I could pick up only small bits, but from what I heard it must be in code..... they kept saying things like "Shyah!" and "Like Totally" and even "Tubular".... I heard the word "Wicked" mixed in somewhere so I can only guess as to the nefarious plot that they could be hatching. Be on your guard Ansalon.....

EVIL, DISPICABLE, HORRIBLE, VILE, (and many other equally bad words) can used to describe the S.A.E.E. group. This faction is just now gaining infamy across the continent. The S.A.E.E. or Scions Against Everybody Else group has developed a NEW technique to use against the helpless population of Krynn. Using the Scions innate magical properties, The Golden Gnomes have begun summoning massive amounts of pies which they use to hold up unsuspecting travelers. "Give me your money or you'll still be wiping custard off your clothes tomorrow" has become an oft-heard cry on the main roads of Solomnia. Citizens are cautioned, as Cherry Pie stains are incredibly difficult to get out.

In related news, it seems that the S.A.E.E.'s plans may be foiled by a very unexpected turn of events. It seems that while travelling on a Dinner date the mysterious Mayor of Palanthas was accosted by the Scions. It is said that after finding that his new best tux was ruined, the Mayor demanded to speak with a local Kender Representative. The young fellow was immediately released from the local prison and brought before the Mayor. There was much ado about the secret negotiations between the two, but finally the countermeasure to the S.A.E.E. has been revealed. THE SECOND ANNUAL KENDER BAKE SALE HAS BEEN APPROVED! Although banned last year as the Bake Sale culminated in the replacing of the High Lord Ehrlings Personal treasury with croissants, the Great Kender Bake Sale was also well known for the unexpected defeat of the surprise draconian invasion at the hands of a small group of travelling Kender armed with Sticky Buns. Already, manufacturing has begun an a brand new stock of coffee cakes and muffins, but they question remains in the hearts and minds of Krynn's people..... Who will win the "War of the Baked Goods"?

... Well, that's all for now. Stay tuned for the next installment of Today On Krynn!

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		AN ANCIENT DRAGON RITUAL was discovered today for the first time in history! Known only as the "Dragon Teacup Ceremony" this horrific event has only been witnessed by two unfortunates (this is due to the fact that the ceremony is only performed when dragons visit each other, a sight few live to tell about). This reporter was lucky enough to get a first person look at the ceremony by disguising himself as a giant Dinner Roll and sneaking in. First, the visiting Dragon is required to remove his claws at the door (something that I found very intriguing due to the fact that I myself have tried that same process innumerous times unsuccessfully...) then they sit down in a large circle and drink hot tea while engaging in strange conversation. I could pick up only small bits, but from what I heard it must be in code..... they kept saying things like "Shyah!" and "Like Totally" and even "Tubular".... I heard the word "Wicked" mixed in somewhere so I can only guess as to the nefarious plot that they could be hatching. Be on your guard Ansalon.....
		EVIL, DISPICABLE, HORRIBLE, VILE, (and many other equally bad words) can used to describe the S.A.E.E. group. This faction is just now gaining infamy across the continent. The S.A.E.E. or Scions Against Everybody Else group has developed a NEW technique to use against the helpless population of Krynn. Using the Scions innate magical properties, The Golden Gnomes have begun summoning massive amounts of pies which they use to hold up unsuspecting travelers. "Give me your money or you'll still be wiping custard off your clothes tomorrow" has become an oft-heard cry on the main roads of Solomnia. Citizens are cautioned, as Cherry Pie stains are incredibly difficult to get out.
		In related news, it seems that the S.A.E.E.'s plans may be foiled by a very unexpected turn of events. It seems that while travelling on a Dinner date the mysterious Mayor of Palanthas was accosted by the Scions. It is said that after finding that his new best tux was ruined, the Mayor demanded to speak with a local Kender Representative. The young fellow was immediately released from the local prison and brought before the Mayor. There was much ado about the secret negotiations between the two, but finally the countermeasure to the S.A.E.E. has been revealed. THE SECOND ANNUAL KENDER BAKE SALE HAS BEEN APPROVED! Although banned last year as the Bake Sale culminated in the replacing of the High Lord Ehrlings Personal treasury with croissants, the Great Kender Bake Sale was also well known for the unexpected defeat of the surprise draconian invasion at the hands of a small group of travelling Kender armed with Sticky Buns. Already, manufacturing has begun an a brand new stock of coffee cakes and muffins, but they question remains in the hearts and minds of Krynn's people..... Who will win the "War of the Baked Goods"?