SPOILER WARNING: Tavin's Nugget of Joy Contains spoilers to Dragons of a Lost Star. If you have not read this book, we advise you not to read further. Dragonlance Underground: Tavin's Nugget of Joy 4-22-01

Tavin's Nugget of Joy 4-22-01

By Tavin Springfingers

Greetings fellow remnants of the Fifth Age, Today it is with a heavy heart that I present to you:

Today on Krynn:

Dropping like Elves?-
Indeed it would seem to be so, as the recent events of war in both the now accessible Silvanesti and now obliterated Qualinesti have taken a very heavy toll on the unfortunate race. With the tragic fall of Qualinost and the invasion and capture of Silvanesti by the Knights of Neraka, it is estimated that the elves have lost nearly 30-40% of their population. These tragedies have prompted the other races of krynn to bring back into common use an old addage, "Dropping like kender"

Isn't it ironic!-
After doing some deep cover investigating into the wrecked forest of Qualinesti, our reporter found a great story of the races of krynn picking up the pieces and moving on... literally. After journeying to Qualinost, Tavin ran across a humongous tribe of Gully Dwarves. Amazed to find the nauseous dwarves not only alive and well, but in the highest of spirits, Tavin questioned a few of them. Soon the source of their happiness became clear as Tavin observed the little beasties run around picking up bits and pieces of the horrid Dragon Overlord known as Beryl for what they called "Yum Green Stew". Tavin wished to express his opinion that he is glad that at least now, the Great Green is worth something.

Return of the Ugly Knight-
Rumors are abounding that a knight has been going cross country, messing with affairs that are apparently none of his business, and then taking off. He is loud, rude, offensive, pessimistic, and above all- Butt Ugly. Women run from him, children cry at the sight of him, and grown men lose their lunch at the sight of his face. "We have never made general looks a part of the Solamnic way," said Chief-Captain Emil Swordbreaker. "but this man I saw was so incredibly horrid to look at, I almost wished to be back in the war fighting Stahnks and other undead creatures..." As a public service announcement, we wish to warn all people out there to be wary of any word of an undesribably horrid man who goes by the name of Gerard.

Worse than clones, really..-
An anonymous person has managed to break into the infamous underground mage society known as the "Mages of the Plains". These mages act anonymously and always use psuedonyms based in some way on the name of the great Archmage, Raistlin Majere. It is assumed that the reason for the infiltration was to discover the secret identities of these mysterious mages. Unfortunately, the perpetrator was vexed to find at the meeting that the anonymous magi not only used the name of the famous Raistlin, but shrouded themselves in the visage of him as well. Amongst them were; a Raistlin sporting a lovely boquet of flowers, a Raistlin wearing glasses and a pocket protecter, a Raistlin carrying a pentagram, a Raistlin whose skin was gold (not copper like the real majere's), a FEMALE Raistlin carrying a purse, and a Raistlin that was for the most part unobserved as he spent the whole meeting uttering gibberish in the corner of the room. Needless to say, the whole event was more confusing than enlightening.

PLEASE! Nail the coffin SHUT!- Goldmoon of the Que-Shu's body was discovered today at the now relocated Tower of High Sorcery that once stood in Palanthas. It was old, decrepid, and withered away with no signs of life (most unlike the rumors abounding only weeks earlier about the "miracle" of Goldmoons ability to cheat death and become young). It is unknown as to whether or not the tragedy occured due to a magical assault on the healer or as a horrible result of her failing magic. Goldmoons funeral will be held immediately after the now common two month waiting period to see if the First Master will have any MORE "miracles"... again...

Well, that wraps it all up on Today on (what's left of) Krynn.

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