SPOILER WARNING: This article contains spoilers for Dragons of a Fallen Sun and Dragons of a Lost Star. Read at your own risk!
Hallo ladies and gents of the wide, wide world of Krynn! Once more you have arrived just in time to be subjected to the most inhumane form of torture this side of Gully Dwarf singing. That's right, it's time for....
Tavin's Nugget of Joy 04-30-01
INTERVIEW WITH MINA!
| Tavin: | Hullo everyone! Todays guest is a Knight of Neraka, and the only person who actually believes in the 'One God'! Please welcome.... Mina!
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| Mina enters
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| Mina: | Hello, and may the One God be with you.
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| Tavin: | Hey Mina... Let's start the ball rolling, we're all interested.. How did you know that dumb ol' elf was really Cyan Bloodbane?
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| Mina: | I was told by the One God.
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| Tavin: | How did you know how to get through the Silvanesti shield?
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| Mina: | Through the power of the One God.
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| Tavin: | How did you make the dead fight for you against the Solamnic Knights?
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| Mina: | It was the power of the One God that commanded them to.
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| Tavin: | .........
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| Mina: | The One God holds power over all people and all things!
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| Tavin: | ...... Uhm... Mina? Did you actually do anything by yourself? without the help of this One God?
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| Mina: | .............
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| Tavin: | Well??
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| Mina: | ......... I cut my hair.
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| Tavin: | ..... Oooooooookay.
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| Mina: | It used to be long, but I cut it.
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| Tavin: | Uhm... yeah, well, that was nice. I don't need to talk to you now, so you can go away. Hey! Someone get the One God in here! There is the person I need to interview!
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| Mina: | The One God only speaks through me!
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| Tavin: | Yeah... Whatever. Go get yourself a wig or something.
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| Mina runs out of the room crying
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| Tavin: | Hey! Did we get the One God yet?
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| Assistants run out, carrying a chair with the words 'One God' on it. It is, of course, empty
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| Tavin: | Hello, One God!
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| One God:
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| Tavin: | So, How ya been?
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| One God:
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| Tavin: | So... that was some great work breaking down the shield in Silvanesti!
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| One God:
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| Tavin: | You know... I'll bet I know who you really are!
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| One God:
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| Tavin: | You're really Raistlin Majere!
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| One God:
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| Tavin: | Uhm.... No. You're Takhisis, Queen of Darkness!
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| One God:
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| Tavin: | Par-Salian? Tanis Half-Elven?
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| One God:
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| Tavin: | Marquesta Kar-Thon? Berem, the Everman??
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| One God:
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| Tavin: | The cast of CATS? The Lord of the Dance?
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| One God:
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| Tavin: | Bill Gates?????
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| One God:
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| Tavin: | I give up. This is ridiculous. This moronic One God doesn't even exist.
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| One God:
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| Tavin: | Stupid, dumb God, can't even answer a simple question!
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| One God:
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| Tavin: | Look at this! I can just sit here and taunt this foolish God and nothing happens. I can call him names a million times and he won't even speak to defend himself!
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| Suddenly, lightning streaks from the sky and hits Tavin
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| Tavin: | ACK!
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| One God: | Two. No more than two.
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| Tavin: | Ack. You've... hack! Goatta... be... Urk... kidding me...
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| Assistant: | Thus ends todays interview. Hopefully we will see you next time... assuming any of our healers can use their waning magic to heal our poor fried reporter.
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