Tavin's Nugget of Joy 6-24-01

By Raistlame

Greetings, my name is Raistlame, one of the more obscure of the Raistlins, I rarely post to the forum and usually keep to myself for my own reasons. (One reason may be because the other Raistlins keep me locked up in the "Chamber of the Live Ones". Oh, like they've never streaked at a gathering of the Wizard Conclave before. They're such hypocrites.) Anyway, I'm out and about again and I've been looking for my pet kender Tavin, but no one has seen him in weeks. Which is very disturbing to say the least. If Tavin is not wandering about here then he must be in some trouble and that kender swallowed some very important magical gems of mine and swears he hasn't passed them yet so he's worth a fortune to me so I must find him.

The Search for Tavin

I learned from a few of Tavin's sources (those drunkards) that he went to visit a renegade mage that lives somewhere west of Bloten. Upon finding this mage I found that he had foolishly sent the kender back to the time of the Meeting of the Companions for some special report or something that the kender was doing. This kender is getting to be more trouble than he's worth. After a quick spell I find myself standing at the door to the Inn of the Last Home 348 AC. And I am determined to find that good for nothing, bothersome kender.

Hedrick:	You have cured me with evil! Even as I burn to purify my flesh, you will burn to purify your soul!
Raistlame:	Who was that? Oh yes, now I remember that foolish Seeker. What was his name Heddy? Headcase? Something with an "H"... Hiccup? No. Oh well I better get inside before the whole thing gets crazy in there. *Raistlame opens the door and looks around at the tavern full of shocked patrons*
Raistlame:	No need to worry. Calm down. Sorry, I seem to have this effect on people. Move out of my way Heddy and wrap up that hand, you'll scare the children with that. They'll be calling you Scarfingers before long. Hmmm, that has a nice ring to it.
Tanis:	But it's not our staff!
Raistlame:	Yes, yes we all know how it goes Turnip. Just go ahead and sneak out the back door through the kitchen. What a brilliant plan that was. *The half elf looks at Raistlame and pauses as if in thought*
Tika:	The guards are coming!
Tanis:	We'll have to go out through the kitchen.
Tika:	Yes! They won't look back there yet. But hurry. It won't take them long to surround the place. *The group seated at the long table in the corner rises except for a young man dressed in plate armor*
Raistlame:	Wait a minute. Not so fast I'm looking for my pet, and before you all run off to save the world and become "Big Heroes". I have a couple questions.
Old Man:	Leave them alone. They have places to go and things to do.
Raistlame:	Yes, what they have to do is find my pet that came to visit them and you're wasting my valuable time. In any minute they'll be descending the rope from the kitchen and hiding out at the waitress' house, and I'll probably lose my window of opportunity. Now if you don't mind I'd like to get back to my questioning.
Tika:	Come on!
Raistlame:	Aww now half of them are gone! Raistlin and Caramon have already slipped off to the kitchen. Thanks for the distraction "Old Man", wink wink, nudge nudge, like we don't know who YOU are.
Tanis:	Get the kender!
Raistlame:	YES! Exactly that's what I'm here for. Is that worthless, snivelling Tavin around here somewhere? *Raistlame notices the kender standing in a corner holding a staff*
Raistlame:	Tavin? Ahhh you're not Tavin. You're that fancy schmancy kender hero. Have you seen another kender by the name of Tavin?
Tasslehoff:	Really? I'm a her- OW! *Tika grabs the kender by his topknot and pulls him toward the kitchen. Tasslehoff shrieks and drops the staff.
Raistlame:	Damn! Can't I get a word in edge-wise around here! It's not like it's the end of the world, you could take a moment to stop and talk, you have a couple more minutes until the guards get here. You, Goldmoon could you take a moment to answer a few questions, maybe share a couple drinks? *Goldmoon has a short discussion with Riverwind*
Goldmoon:	We will talk with you. Thank you for the offer.
Tanis:	Come on! This way! *The young man with the mustache hauls Goldmoon toward the kitchen. Goldmoon smiles sheepishly in apology and follows him.
Raistlame:	Wait! This is all going to the Abyss in a hand basket. Maybe I can catch them before they disappear down the hole. Out of my way! *Raistlame runs into the kitchen. He shoves the Cook out of the way*
Tasslehoff:	Here the ale comes up and the garbage goes down!
Raistlame:	You can say that again... Oh wait, Raistlin, let's talk for a moment, one Raistlin to another. You know what it's like to have a pet kender. I really need to find mine, all I want to know is if you've-
Caramon:	How are you going to get down, Raist? I can carry you on my back-
Raistlame:	SHUT UP you lummox, can't you see I'm trying to have a conversation with Raistlin here? By the Gods you are so dense. Don't you realize your brother will be one of the most powerful wizards to ever live! And you have to baby him. He's not as weak and worthless as you think he is! *Raistlin's eyes flash with anger that startles the half-elf*
Raistlin:	I can get down myself! *Before anyone could stop him Raistlin steps to the edge of the hole and leaps out into the air. Everyone, but Raistlame, gasps and peers down, expecting to see Raistlin splattered all over the ground. Instead they see the young mage gently floating down, his robes fluttering around him. The crystal on his staff glows brightly*
Raistlame:	Ooooo! Ahhhh! That's magic folks. Are you all scared now? Boo, Boo!! Mwaha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Us mages are scary people. Boo half-elf! Boo you rock! Boo little dwarf! Wow Raistlin is just the greatest.
Flint:	He shivers my skin!
Raistlame:	Ahh well this was a bust. I guess he wasn't here. I suppose I'll return home and see if he shows up again or if I can find another lead. *Sigh*

Farewell,
Raistlame

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