Dragonlance Underground: Tavin's Nugget of Joy 7-09-01

Hello there dear readers, You know, it's said that no news is good news, but if that was the case I'd be out of a job! And the last thing we need is ANOTHER kender pulling in unemployment so.... Here's another late breaking: Dragonlance Underground: Tavin's Nugget of Joy 7-09-01

Tavin's Nugget of Joy 7-09-01

By Tavin Springfingers

Today on Krynn:

Magic Reveals The 'Bare' Facts-
A new club is opening inside of Palanthas. As part of the Wizards Council's new program to expand the benefits of the Sorcerers lifestyle in order to attract new and more youthful prospects, the Orders have purchased and established a Night Club for mages only. Specifically, a Magi Strip Club. Starting next month, deprived (depraved?) mages everywhere will be able to come in and find out exactly what the other mages wear under their robes. Sources say that although the Black Robes are in charge of the club itself and booking the acts, the Red Robes are in charge of finances and all bookkeeping. Now there is a suprise.....

Tall Man Complex?-
The Ogres of Kern have always been very antisocial and territorial beasts, but some new and interesting news has just been discovered about the Ogres latest attempts to isolate themselves from the rest of the world. All around the border to Ogre homeland, large signs have begun to appear. The are signs made in the image of a twelve foot tall ogre holding his arm out at shoulder level, about eleven feet. The signs all bear the one single statement in common, 'You must be this tall to enter'.

Next Time, Think!-
Hobgoblin settlements all around and in Throtl have been in utter chaos the past few days. Due to the massive amount of raining and flooding, disaster has hit upon most Hobgoblin tribes in the area. Houses have been washed away and people have even been crushed while in the safety of their own houses. When asked about the troubles, Solomnic Knight Baek SilverSpoon simply said, "Well, what did you expect? They live in mud huts..."

It Hurts So Goooood-
Reports have been flying in of Draconians spotted rubbing up against trees and rocks in seeming ecstacy. There have been reports of Draconians actually dropping their weapons to go rub against a house or tree or rock. To find the answer, we turned to Dr. Helvig Von Dracostein, the foremost authority on draconians. His answer was in fact quite simple. Much like snakes and lizards, Draconians grow a new skin over time to replace the old. It is this layer of dry, itchy, dead skin that the Draconians are so focussed on removing. Yes boys and girls, you are safe for a while. The Draconians can't get you. They're molting.

That's all for this edition of Today on Krynn.

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		Magic Reveals The 'Bare' Facts- A new club is opening inside of Palanthas. As part of the Wizards Council's new program to expand the benefits of the Sorcerers lifestyle in order to attract new and more youthful prospects, the Orders have purchased and established a Night Club for mages only. Specifically, a Magi Strip Club. Starting next month, deprived (depraved?) mages everywhere will be able to come in and find out exactly what the other mages wear under their robes. Sources say that although the Black Robes are in charge of the club itself and booking the acts, the Red Robes are in charge of finances and all bookkeeping. Now there is a suprise.....
		Tall Man Complex?- The Ogres of Kern have always been very antisocial and territorial beasts, but some new and interesting news has just been discovered about the Ogres latest attempts to isolate themselves from the rest of the world. All around the border to Ogre homeland, large signs have begun to appear. The are signs made in the image of a twelve foot tall ogre holding his arm out at shoulder level, about eleven feet. The signs all bear the one single statement in common, 'You must be this tall to enter'.
		Next Time, Think!- Hobgoblin settlements all around and in Throtl have been in utter chaos the past few days. Due to the massive amount of raining and flooding, disaster has hit upon most Hobgoblin tribes in the area. Houses have been washed away and people have even been crushed while in the safety of their own houses. When asked about the troubles, Solomnic Knight Baek SilverSpoon simply said, "Well, what did you expect? They live in mud huts..."
		It Hurts So Goooood- Reports have been flying in of Draconians spotted rubbing up against trees and rocks in seeming ecstacy. There have been reports of Draconians actually dropping their weapons to go rub against a house or tree or rock. To find the answer, we turned to Dr. Helvig Von Dracostein, the foremost authority on draconians. His answer was in fact quite simple. Much like snakes and lizards, Draconians grow a new skin over time to replace the old. It is this layer of dry, itchy, dead skin that the Draconians are so focussed on removing. Yes boys and girls, you are safe for a while. The Draconians can't get you. They're molting.