The war-loving Goblinkin strike yet again with another fiendish plot now unfurled. It all began last week, when an elderly woman was treated at Sancrist Medical Center for serious lacerations. Investigations into the cause found the woman to be a victim of her sweater, a well constructed (albeit lime green) long sleeved sweater of goblin make, given to her by her son after he had taken it as spoils of war in an earlier raid on a goblin war camp. It seems that the little devils have begun to actually weave weapons (stillettos, knives, garrote wires, etc.) into clothing, thus making them concealed and easier to sneak around. While we must question the sons taste in clothing, he is undoubtfully responsible for the unveiling of this nefarious plot.
On Friday a special meeting of the FNL (Free Nation Leaders) was called to order over the discovery of a new continent! It is located 40,000 nautical miles southeast of the continent of Taladas and is assumed to be around the size of Ansalon. Upon discovery, an expidition was immediately sent out to explore the region. The exploration team brought back terrible and horrifying news. It seems that the entire continent is populated by Gully Dwarves. Not only that but by some bizzarre twist of fate, these Gully Dwarves have been imbued with innate magical abilities. Only half of the crew managed to escape with their lives. After much deliberation it was decided by the FNL to strike all knowledge of this new continent from official records completely and to hope that nobody else accidentally gets marooned there.
Next tuesday marks an annual tradition in the Blood Sea Isles. It is the date set for the twelfth annual Miss Minotaur Pageant. It is said that during this week and next that the Minotaur community will be tense and extremely prone to anger, due to the intense nature of this festival. It is reccommended that all people try to keep away from Minotaurs as much as possible and attempt to avoid getting in disagreements with them, for they will likely turn violent.
[Editors Note: We here at Today on Krynn would just like to point out that the given statement was given to us to print. We actually can't find any difference between this advice and day to day advice for dealing with Minotaurs.]
With the current fall of the three orders of magic, the SAM (Society for the Awareness of Magic) has stepped up to help keep the Academy together.Instead of strict orders, the SAM has organized groupings into various clubs which follow a singular theme. Among the clubs that have gained much notoriety are: The ARMG or Anal Retentive Mage's Guild (well known for their precise measuring of spell components, ephasis on clear and concise verbal usage, and keeping single use components in seperately filed and proportioned individually wrapped baggies), the AMD or Accountant Mages of Duntollik, the YMSA or Young Mages Solomnic Association (which provides a stable moral environment and a place for young mages to go istead of being out on the streets), and the new and fast growing club founded by a jealous Bardic Mage called 'Dalamar is a Dork'. Only time will tell what effect these and the numerous other clubs will have on the future of magic.
Again answering the need of the magic community, the Society for the Awareness of Magic has solved yet another major sorcerery problem. Due to the nature of most spell components being both odd and rare, shopping for bat guano or pieces of red felt or bits of phospherous can be tricky, time consuming, or even downright impossible for most wizards. The Society has solved this problem by opening up various warehouses in major cities that sell spell components to mages. Aptly named 'SAM Club', these stores sell spell components to magi at a fraction of the cost that most other stores would sell them at. This is accomplished by selling in bulk, thus cutting the overhead drastically and allowing for much more sensible prices on odd goods.
Actually, there really isn't any real news regarding the little punks. We just figured that we'd warn you that they're still out there and that they'll still steal the socks off your feet if you're not careful. Uhm.... Yeah....