**** WARNING!! WAR OF THE SOULS SPOILERS!!! ****
Tavin's Nugget of Joy 5-05-03
| Tavin: | Well folks, it's been a good while since I last did an interview, and according to the poll in last month's Palanthas Times, our readers out there hope that it will be a good while from now before I consider doing one again. Therefore, in the spirit of rebelliousness I have decided not only to do an interview, but to have the audacity to conduct a followup interview. That's right kids, I'm interviewing someone I'VE ALREADY INTERVIEWED BEFORE!!!!! Folks, please welcome- all the way from the captive nation of Qualinesti..... BERYLLINTRANOX! |
| Cameraman: | Tavin. Bad news. Beryl was killed in the War of Souls. You can't interview her. |
| Tavin: | What?? Dead?? |
| Cameraman: | Yes. Deceased. No longer living. |
| Tavin: | Okay. Well, THAT'S no problem. I had a backup interview ready... JUST IN CASE! I hope you're ready folks, because this one is a doozie! All the way from her mountain of brimstone and lava, the most hated of reptilian menaces, MALYSTRYX!!!!! |
| Cameraman: | Uhm... Tavin... |
| Tavin: | What?? What??? |
| Cameraman: | You see.... Malystryx bought the farm too. |
| Tavin: | Malys is DEAD!?!?! When the heck did THIS happen? |
| Cameraman: | Well, you see... She got killed in the War of Souls.... |
| Tavin: | The Red Marauder is dead. But... How the hell... You know what.. never mind. Get me Skie. Old Khellendros has survived through two Dragon Wars and an unbelievable amount of disasters. He'll be there. |
| Cameraman: | Dead too, sir. The War of Souls. |
| Tavin: | Crap. |
| Cameraman: | Sorry... |
| Tavin: | Okay. See if you can get Cyan Bloodbane on the horn. |
| Cameraman: | The Elves killed him, sir. |
| Tavin: | Not many dragons left in the world of DragonLance, now is there? |
| Cameraman: | Pardon? |
| Tavin: | Uhm.. never mind. Well, I guess I'll just have to forget about interviewing the Dragons. How about Lauralanthalasa? |
| Cameraman: | War of Souls. |
| Tavin: | What about good old Silvanoshei? |
| Cameraman: | War of Souls... sorry... |
| Tavin: | Goldmoon then. She just can't EVER seem to die. |
| Cameraman: | She got her wish, sir. |
| Tavin: | Dead? |
| Cameraman: | Very. |
| Tavin: | I'll interview that old potted plant, Lord Soth! |
| Cameraman: | Well... actually.... |
| Tavin: | No way! HE'S ALREADY DEAD!!!! |
| Cameraman: | I really don't know what to say sir, except... gone.... |
| Tavin: | This war certainly seems to have made the rounds, hasn't it... Okay. I'll interview good old Tasslehoff. I hear that he's shown up again! |
| Cameraman: | Well.. uhm... actually... |
| Tavin: | Oh, you've GOT to be joking. Did ANYONE survive this damn war? |
| Cameraman: | Well, yes, sir... People DID survive the war. |
| Tavin: | Anybody from the time of the War of the Lance? |
| Cameraman: | In fact, sir, someone is in the studio now. Came in just this afternoon. |
| Tavin: | Is he famous? |
| Cameraman: | Quite well known, sir. |
| Tavin: | Well, then, show him in!! |
| Cameraman: | He's ready and waiting, sir, just off stage. |
| Tavin: | Excellent! Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to our mystery guest! A great survivor who has ascended the bloodbath of not only the War of the Lance and the Second Cataclysm, but also the death and destruction of the War of Souls! Mystery guest, please come on in and tell us your name! |
| Mystery Guest: | 'lo. I Phudge. Highbulp Phudge. I eats rats. You rats got good too? |
| Tavin: | Uhm, Philip. A Gully Dwarf seems to have snuck into the studio. |
| Cameraman Philip: | That's the guest, sir. |
| Phudge: | I eats rat! Lizard, rat, lizard! Kender not taste good as lizard. |
| Tavin: | ............................................................................. |
| Phudge: | All lizard taste gooder than kender. Kender too big to be stew. |
| Tavin: | Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid that today's Nugget will have to be called due to the lack of intelligent people left alive. Please come back next month for a (hopefully) much more entertaining Nugget. In the mean time, I must go back to my room and cry. Good night, folks! |
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